


there's an ache in you put there by the ache in me

by jukulele



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Flashbacks, Friends to Enemies, M/M, Some Angst with a Happy Ending, childhood AU, spring break shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jukulele/pseuds/jukulele
Summary: In another lifetime, Julie remembers what it was like to be friends with Luke. He was passionate about everything he loved - music, his family, his friends, her. They were inseparable. He was her best friend.What feels like ages ago, Luke recalls Julie and him being attached at the hip. She was his best friend, his light, his everything. He thought she hung the moon and stars.But now it's senior year, years have passed, and the two cannot stand each other. With spring break starting, the last thing either one of them want to do is waste their energy or time despising the other. But the universe (and their friends) might have different plans.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nick/Carrie Wilson
Comments: 167
Kudos: 274





	1. there'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!! This is my first chaptered fic and I wanted it to be good for you all so I sat and ruminated on this idea for like a month and then drafted all the chapters and am finally getting to see it come to life. I hope you all like it!
> 
> Just for clarity - each chapter is split into two parts: the first being a flashback from Julie or Luke's POV, the latter being a time jump to the present from the other's POV.
> 
> And yes, the titles of the fic and its chapters will be from evermore bc Taylor Swift is queen

_It wasn’t even time for recess and Julie already wanted to curl up under her desk and cry._

_She had woken up this morning all bright and cheery, ready to take on her first day of real school by storm. Kindergarten had been a breeze, but starting first grade meant she was in the big leagues now. The school day was going to be longer, there was no more nap time, and they were going to be learning things beyond the ABC’s. She was totally stoked._

_When her mom had walked her to the bus stop, Julie noticed that none of the other kids had their parents with them and a sense of pride swelled in her chance. She had the most caring and loving mom in the entire world._

_The bus had arrived minutes later, as Rose bent down to her daughter’s height to press a kiss to the little girl’s forehead. She ran her hands down the sides of her head to capture her braids, tugging on them slightly to make Julie laugh. “You are going to have fun, okay? I will be right here when you get back.”_

_Julie climbed up the tall steps of the school bus, catching a smile on the face of the bus driver. She grinned back before turning to face the rest of the bus. The kids on the bus got bigger the further back she looked, so she settled for the first empty seat she saw - the second on the right. She plopped down on the seat, moving her backpack to rest in her lap._ Inhala, exhala. _A deep breath in and out calmed her nerves. So far, so good._

_Things took a turn when she was sat next to this shaggy haired boy in class. The students were seated alphabetically by last name and she supposed the world decided to curse her by placing her next to not only the most distracting and talkative student, but between him and another boy who seemed to be his best friend. They kept reaching over her desk and behind her chair to poke each other and make quiet jokes when the teacher wasn’t looking. Julie sighed, not knowing if she would be able to handle this for much longer._

_The entire class was working on a math activity the teacher had passed out when she felt tugs on her braids. It was a different sensation than when her mom did it, gentle and caring. This tug was urgent, eager, harsher. She lifted her head slightly to the right to find the boy’s hand retreating back to his lap. He looked at her with a goofy grin, like a toddler who was trying to weave his way out of a trap. In that moment, Julie decided that maybe the world didn’t hate her completely — the boy was pretty cute. She smiled softly at him instinctively, despite his previous action._

_Any pretense of her finding his mopped hairstyle cute fled when he spoke. Apparently his parents didn’t teach him how to be nice to other people._

_“Your teeth look weird.”_

_Julie’s face turned red. She was well aware that her teeth weren’t perfect (she had overheard her dentist telling her parents the possibility of her needing braces in a few years if her teeth didn’t correct themselves), but no one had ever been so forward about it. She could feel tears forming and she willed them down, turning her head down to focus on the activity in front of her._

_Apparently staying silent only spurred this kid on. He tugged her braid again to get her attention. When she finally glared up at him, he spoke again, not even batting an eye at her glassy eyes. “You have a gap between your teeth.” He pointed to his own front teeth to demonstrate where he was referring._

_Julie could feel anger building up at this kid’s audacity to be so blatantly rude. Didn’t his parents teach him that if he had nothing nice to say, to not say anything at all? She continued to ignore him —_ inhala, exhala _— and gripped her pencil with more force as she completed the assignment. She heard the boy huff when he realized she was ignoring him —_ he must be used to getting attention _, she thought — and let out a breath of relief when she watched him, out of her peripheral vision, begin talking to the boy on the other side._

_She took the next several minutes to calm herself, the grip on her pencil slowly loosening and the tears swelled up in her eyes drying out. A few more deep breaths in, then out, and she felt at peace again. That is, until she felt the tug on her braid again. This was going to be the longest day._

\- 

_The moment the doors swung open, she felt the rush of the kids around her running past her, headed for the blacktop and play structure. She trudged her feet slowly, no longer excited to spend time outside after the morning’s events._

_In addition to that, Carrie wasn’t at school today. According to her mom, she had caught a cold just in time for the first day of school and had to stay home. Julie was devastated, as she had been hoping to hang out with her best friend at recess._

_The Wilson’s and Molina’s were close family friends, Rose having met Trevor during college, the two hitting it off immediately. Trevor had even tried to ask Rose out, but by then she had already met Ray, a soft-spoken photography student, and they were smitten with each other within hours of meeting. Trevor eventually met Lena in the latter half of their college years, and the four continued to stay close as they explored their adult lives and settled down to start their own families. It was almost too perfect that Rose and Lena became pregnant around the same time, both expecting their baby girls in the spring. It was only natural that the girls then grew up to become best friends like their parents._

_Her mom assured her, after telling her about Carrie, that recess would still be the best time of the day. After hours of sitting indoors at their desks, they were allowed thirty minutes of just running around. But the prospect of having fun was no longer appealing to Julie, as she found a bench close to the basketball courts to occupy. Her small hand pulled on her shirt subconsciously, mimicking the tugging motion that she had endured for hours before. She wanted to scream at the boy, to tell him to stop, but she did not want to cause a scene on her first day. Her parents had raised her better than that._

_She wrapped her small arms around her legs, her knees drawn to her chest. Her eyes scoured the scene in front of her, seeing groups of kids her age climbing the jungle gym, running around playing tag, going on the swings. Julie let out a sigh and cast her eyes downward to play with the velcro on her shoe. Whoever said school was going to be fun was a liar._

_A pair of sneakers appeared in her vision and she slowly lifted her head to find its owner, only to be met face-to-face with the boy from earlier. He looked a little less mean now, and the way he kept playing with the hem of his shirt made her think that he might actually feel bad about what he had said and done to her earlier._

_“What do you want?” Julie couldn’t help the tone of her voice at the sight of the source of her agony. And if she felt a sense of pride when she noticed the boy shift his weight nervously on his feet, no one had to know._

_“I’m sorry for tugging your hair. And for being mean.” The boy shoved his hands in his pockets. “Alex says that I don’t have a filter and I say things without thinking sometimes.”_

_Julie looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Who’s Alex?”_

_“He’s the blonde one over there.” The boy pointed across the blacktop to a group of boys. She recognized the blonde boy to be the boy who sat on her left in class, the boy who had been poking and making jokes with the boy in front of her. “He’s my best friend. So is Reggie, he sits on the other side of me.”_ Ah, so that’s why he was so chatty in class.

_She crossed her arms. “You should listen to your friend then and be nicer.” Her tone didn’t waver as she spoke._

_He nodded profusely. “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” He pouted at her, his eyes earnest._

_Julie couldn’t help but giggle at his expression. She was never one to keep grudges. “Fine.” She lowered her knees from her face, letting her feet dangle a few inches above the ground. “If I’m going to be stuck between you and your best friends, you have to promise to be nicer.” She held out her hand in a fist, her pinky outstretched in offering._

_The boy smiled a toothy grin, immediately twirling his pinky around hers. “You can just be one of my new best friends.”_

_She couldn’t help but grin at his offer, taking his now outstretched hand to hop off the bench. “Wait, I don’t know your name. I’m Julie.” She would’ve offered her hand to shake if they weren’t already holding hands._

_He looked at her, the smile on his face not fading a smidge. “My name is Luke.” He tugged on her hand so they could join his other friends._

* * *

Luke shut his locker, groaning in response to the shrill sound of the warning bell. It was the Friday before spring break, and it was senior year nonetheless, but this day was passing by so slowly. It probably didn’t help that he was running on minimal sleep after a late night of band rehearsal.

“You good, dude?” Luke felt a hand clap on his shoulder, shaking him a little to wake him up.

Grimacing, he slung his backpack around his shoulder to turn and see Reggie with his signature grin and Alex with a cup of coffee. “Not at all. I just want to get this presentation over with so we can get ready for Cancún!”

The trio turned simultaneously to head down the west hall. Luke, as usual, walked in between the other two. Reggie winked at the passing girls, while Alex attempted to keep his eye rolls hidden behind his coffee cup.

“Agreed, the fact that Murphy assigned this project to be due the day before break was pure evil,” a fourth voice replied. Willie joined the group, throwing his arm around Alex’s shoulder and kissing him on the cheek. “Morning, babe.”

Luke watched Alex’s cheeks tinge a pink hue at his boyfriend’s words, concealing his smile as he took another sip of coffee. “Morning, Willie,” he mumbled back.

“No cap,” Reggie continued. “She knew that we would all skip otherwise.”

The four of them rolled into homeroom together, finding many of their classmates groaning in their seats at the prospect of being present today. It seemed like everyone was ready for the day to end and it had barely started.

“I’m just ready to get out of LA, boys,” Luke sighed out as he plopped down in his seat behind Bobby, who had been waiting for the other guys to show. (Bobby, despite what others might think given that he was in a punk rock band, had a reputation of being a good student — always on time, always did his work, never caused a scene. In Luke’s opinion, none of that really mattered considering they were expected to go on tour after graduation anyway.) “This trip is going to be awesome.” He fist bumped Reggie, who sat to his left.

Willie leaned on Alex’s desk, taking a shared sip out of Alex’s drink. “Patterson, don’t talk about being ready to go on this trip when you’re not even packed yet.” Alex giggled at Willie’s insinuation, leaning forward to rest his head on his boyfriend’s arm.

Luke scoffed. “What is there to even pack? It’s a week in a tropical paradise. All I need are my cutoffs and shorts and some boxers and I’m set.” He noticed Alex rolling his eyes and punched him lightly with his fist. “What, like you’ve got everything packed and ready to go?”

Alex rolled his eyes, straightening up his posture to rub at his shoulder dramatically. “I’ve been packed since Monday, you idiot.” Luke shouldn’t have been surprised. Alex, after all, had always been the “mom friend” of the group. Before Luke could retort, the sound of squealing from the other corner of the classroom interrupted his thoughts.

_“Eep! It’s going to be out tonight!”_

_“Oh my gosh, she’s literally an idol. Folklore was already iconic, and now this?”_

_“My heart cannot handle this, guys. We are listening to this on repeat all break.”_

The shrill voices he heard made his blood boil. It was an instinct at this point, really. Years ago, he would automatically make his way towards her, but now his body was conditioned to go in attack mode when he heard her voice now. “Keep it down, would ya? Not everyone cares about the new Swiftie album,” Luke shouted over at the girls. Alex hit his chest with a look that read “C’mon dude, really?”

Brown met green in a narrowed glare. “Oh, I’m sorry, didn’t realize we disturbed you, Your Majesty.” Julie’s voice sneered with sarcasm.

“Why don’t you butt out, Patterson?” Flynn scoffed, flipping her hair and turning back to her friends.

“Not intruding when you’re the ones screeching like hyenas.” He locked eyes with Julie, giving her a sly wink. “Just looking out for those vocal chords of yours, _Jules_. Can’t be making sounds like that, you'll ruin them.” He mimicked the taunt in her voice, watching the fire in her eyes ignite at the sound of that nickname.

Both Carrie and Flynn looked like they were ready to pounce Luke for his comment, while Kayla sank bank in her seat, looking obviously defeated by what was beginning to be a daily occurrence in homeroom. Julie simply crossed her arms with an eyebrow raise and head tilt. “Judging from what I heard about your last performance in voice, maybe you should take care of your own, _Lucas_.”

The guys next to him snickered under their breath, evidently trying to hide their reaction to the comeback. (So yeah, maybe he had a voice crack in the middle of his vocal midterm...at the very climax of the bridge. In his defense, it had been a cold morning after another late night rehearsal and his parents had forgotten to buy the honey for his morning tea.) He immediately glared at his supposed friends with fury, before locking eyes with his opponent again.

_At least I can still sing._

The words were on the tip of his tongue, just a millisecond from coming out of his mouth. He bit hard on his tongue to hold back. She knew how to rile him up the same way he knew how to push her buttons, always knowing where it stung but never going straight for the kill.

By the time he was focused on her again, she had turned back to her friends to rave about the new album dropping tonight (which, to be honest, he _was_ excited about but she did not need to know that), taking his hesitation as a sign of victory. He huffed, turning back to the boys that sat around him, who all looked at him expectantly.

“You guys all suck.” He crossed his arms, facing the front of the class as the bell rang and Mrs. Murphy strut into the classroom. The day could not end soon enough.

-

A mere 24 hours later, the LA boys (minus Bobby, who was flying in on a later flight with Carrie and the remainder of the group) were finally in Mexico. The resort was nothing short of magnificent. Right by the ocean, the boardwalk close by, the beach within sight from the room he shared with Reggie — all of this was adding up to be the best spring break he could imagine. Even though the flight had been unbearable (with Reggie snoring loudly in his left ear and the slimy old man on his other side pigging out on some airport burrito), the gorgeous view from the balcony was making it worth it.

After checking in and dropping off their bags, they agreed to meet back in the lobby to explore before they had to be back in time for the scheduled activity. Luke was usually not one for strict schedules during a vacation like this (in fact, he would burn it if he could), but when Reggie had handed him the itinerary with Carrie’s name on top, he knew it meant business. He was not about to ruin his spring break by angering her and possibly ending up with broken limbs after that.

Luke, Reggie, Alex, and Willie began scoping out the hotel. Alex, being the resident owner of the only brain cell of the group, had grabbed a pamphlet from the front desk that listed the hotel’s amenities, as well as tourist attractions close by. Since they only had a little over an hour before having to meet up with the remainder of the group, they decided to stay in the building and look at its many perks.

They were able to quickly go through the normal amenities, like the pool and gym, with relative ease. But when they reached the game room, the squeal that escaped Reggie and Willie’s mouths simultaneously meant they would likely be camping here for the remainder of their free time this afternoon.

Luke’s eyes swept over the room. He had to admit, it was a pretty sick game room. There was a pool table, a foosball table, and a couple of arcade games plugged in side-by-side against the wall. The four of them indulged in some games of billiards and foosball, Alex and Luke teamed up against Reggie and Willie. As expected, the former pair would have no advantage against the latter, and eventually gave up after losing game after game. While the other two boys busied themselves with more games, Alex and Luke sat in the couch area in the corner, relieved to finally be off their feet.

Luke let out a huge breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he laid back on the couch. “This is the _life_. I can’t believe Bobby was able to swing this deal.”

The blonde boy groaned in relief, mirroring Luke’s position on the opposing couch. “Please, we all know this was Carrie’s doing.”

Luke opened one eye to look at Alex. “What’s your point?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just giving credit where it’s due.” Alex looked over to see Willie and Reggie in an intense foosball match, his eyes sticking to his boyfriend.

Groaning, Luke kicked at Alex’s hip from his couch. “Stop it with the heart eyes. I’m already going to have to deal with Carrie and Nick, you and Willie, _and_ Bobby and Reggie flirting with randos this whole week. Just take a break for like an hour before it all starts, I’m begging you.”

Alex rolled his eyes, pushing at Luke’s foot where it now rested on his couch. “Not my fault you’re an insufferable ass that no one wants to date. Plus, I think you might have your own hands full with someone else,” Alex wiggled his eyes suggestively.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Before Alex could respond, Willie and Reggie plopped down next to them, breathing heavily. “You guys done already?” Alex asked, swiftly changing the subject. Willie slipped an arm around Alex, who looked over at Luke who fake gagged at the display. The blonde rolled his eyes at his friend's immaturity.

“Yep! Figured we could save the other games for the other days we’re here, so let’s keep moving!” Reggie slapped at his knees before standing up, bouncing with bountiful energy.

The boys filed out of the room and down the hall to find a restaurant that was connected to the hotel lobby’s east wing. It was definitely high class and exuded extravagance with the dim lighting, candles, and grand shelves of wine. Luke peeked at the menu displayed outside the restaurant, his eyes widening at the price of the dishes (in what world is it justified to charge nearly a hundred dollars for a steak?!). He quickly retreated, joining the other boys where they were now across the lobby in the west wing.

He heard Reggie’s voice from around the corner, where he found him flirting at the hotel bar with the bartender who was clearly 1) out of his league and 2) able to see through every lie he was feeding her about his age and profession. She seemed nice, entertaining the younger teen even though she definitely had other things to attend to. Alex and Willie were off to the side in their own world, too busy to notice Reggie making a fool out of himself.

Luke snickered as he walked up and swung an arm around Reggie’s shoulder in an attempt to save him from further embarrassment. “Sorry about him,” he addressed the bartender, smirking. “He doesn’t have a filter.”

Reggie sputtered in defense. “I do too!” His voice came out in a higher pitch, before he cleared his throat and spoke in much deeper voice. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I don't know him.”

“Yeah, sure,” the bartender rolled her eyes and smiled, turning to prepare some drinks for the actual adults that were seated down the bar.

Reggie sighed in defeat, turning in Luke’s arms. “I was so close, man.”

Luke couldn’t help the laugh that escaped and shook his body. “Reg, you weren’t even in the ballpark.” He patted his back a few times, before clapping both hands on Reggie’s shoulders, pushing them towards where Alex and Willie were.

“That was so sad to watch, dude,” Alex groaned, resting his head on Willie’s shoulder.

Willie chuckled, the motion of his body shaking causing Alex to lift his head up from where it laid. “Don’t worry about what they say. I’ll help you with some cheesy pick-up lines.” He slipped a hand to rest on the small of Alex’s back. “How else do you think I got with Hotdog here?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing the tall blonde to flush pink.

“Ahem,” Alex cleared his throat, trying to will the blood away from his face. “Anyway, I think the rest of the group is here.” He pointed to the doors, where an influx of voices could be heard entering the hotel lobby.

The group of them turned towards the main area, making jokes about Reggie’s flirting skills and Alex’s weakness for clichés. Luke looked around at their group in silence, smiling to himself. How he got so lucky to end up with these guys, his brothers, he would never know.

Halfway to the lobby, Luke froze mid-step at the sound of laughter. He’d recognize that laugh anywhere — it used to be his favorite sound, one that he yearned to create; now it was nothing but a distant memory, an alarm for an incoming storm. Slowly, he turned, his eyes locking on the one person he hadn’t expected he would be spending his senior year spring break with.

Julie Molina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I really wanted to get this first chapter out to test the waters, but I'm excited to continue writing the rest, especially because I had some writer's block for a while. Chaptered fics are so much harder than one shots (my attention span is that of a goldfish) but I'm excited to go on this journey with you all!! Stay tuned for the next chapter :)


	2. the road not taken looks real good now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing a chaptered fic is teaching me how horrible I am at writing build-up and general fill chapters. All I want is to spill the tea LOL but I hope you guys enjoy this one!!

_Contrary to popular belief (among the moms), Luke was not a jealous person. At least he wasn’t trying to be. He just liked holding the attention of a certain Latina curly-haired girl, and he hated sharing the spotlight._

_This came to light when Flynn moved to the suburbs right before the third grade, which was also the first year Luke and Julie weren’t placed in the same class. After discovering this on the first day of school, there was a fixed pout on his lips for the next few days. Stuffed cupcakes from his favorite bakery, extra computer time, hanging out with the guys after school — nothing seemed to fix his bad mood._

_Grouchy Luke drove everyone crazy. Every little thing had to be perfect. If Reggie laughed too loud, if his pinball computer game took a second too long to load, if the frosting was too sweet, he would throw a fit. (In a somewhat lucky way for Emily, Luke’s tantrums were less him thrashing his limbs and destroying everything, and more him crying, pouting, and whining for hours on end.) (You have to count your own blessings.)_

_After the third day of endless moaning and groaning, Emily needed to pay a visit to Rose for their weekly wine and cheese nights. It had been a tradition started after Julie and Luke met and had their first playdate. Emily had brought a cheap bottle of red as a meeting gift, to which Rose enthusiastically suggested they pop the cork and start making a dent in the bottle at the moment. The rest was history._

_Emily took a leap of faith by offering Luke to come along, knowing that seeing Julie had always put him in higher spirits. She had never expected for Luke’s bad mood to instantly disappear at the sight of his best friend (especially when hanging out with his other best friends had been to no avail), like it had ceased to exist in the first place._

_“Julie! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Luke nearly knocked Julie over with his enthusiastic hug. She barely caught her footing when he let go, the widest grin on his face._

_The girl giggled, a smile just as wide plastered on her face. “It’s only been a few days!”_

_Luke dramatically placed the back of his head against his forehead, feigning a swooning motion. “It’s felt like a lifetime. I can’t go that long without my best friend!”_

_Rose let out an amused laugh at the boy’s antics. “You know, Em, I bet you fifty that we’re going to be in-laws in twenty years. Mark my words,” she whispered to the other woman. Emily only shook her head in respond, responding with her own hearty chuckle._

_The two mothers watched as their children ran off into the other room, hand in hand, laughing as they went along. They then made their way into the dining room, where Rose had already set up a plate of cheese and crackers and poured two glasses of red wine._ _Emily dropped down onto the chair, stretching out her legs._

_“That bad?” Rose pushed the glass closer to her friend._

_“He has been the biggest pain since Monday, Rose,” Emily recalled, swishing the liquid in her glass, before taking a big gulp. “If I had known that playing with Julie was going to fix it, I would’ve been here the moment school ended on Monday.”_

_**_

_There was something different about third grader Julie. Luke couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but she seemed happier, more carefree, looser. He found himself wondering if maybe being in separate classes was helping her come out of her shell more. He could feel a tightening in his chest at the thought of other people getting to enjoy this Julie and attempted to calm it down. Time alone with Julie was precious, its own currency that bought him barrels of joy. He wanted to enjoy it, not ruin it with his own bad mood._

_They were in the middle of watching an episode of Spongebob in the living room (Carlos was asleep upstairs and it was an unspoken rule in the Molina house to never wake him up before he was fully rested) when something colorful caught his attention._

_“What’s that?” He pointed at her wrist, which now donned an unfamiliar bracelet made of red, blue, and pink string._

_Julie’s eyes followed his fingers, turning and twisting her forearm to flaunt the addition to her wrist. “It’s a friendship bracelet! Flynn gave it to me.”_

_Luke’s eyebrows immediately furrowed. “Who’s Flynn?”_

_Julie set her arm down, turning to face Luke in an excited manner. “She’s the new girl in our class! She just moved from Texas and she’s super nice and her outfits are so cool. She’s so fashionable.” Luke didn’t miss the smile on her face as she spoke fondly of this Flynn girl. Her eyes twinkled as she seemed to reminisce on whatever clothes Flynn must’ve worn._

_“So, she just gave you a friendship bracelet?” Luke was confused. Since when did accessories symbolize friendship? Luke scrambled to think of anything on his person that he could give her before remembering the cold metal chain of his dog tag that hissed at his neck, causing him to spiral in his head. He reached up at the back of his neck subconsciously. Should he give his necklace to Julie as a token of their friendship?_

_But an old metal chain wouldn’t do justice to how special she was to him. His mom once said that he looked at Julie like she hung the moon and stars, though he never fully comprehended what that meant. All he knew was that Julie was the strongest, most amazing friend he had ever had (sorry Alex and Reggie and Bobby). He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she had done something so grand as that, she was unstoppable._

_Julie had only met Flynn a few days ago, so maybe the bracelet was fitting to describe their closeness. Their friendship, as brief as it had been so far, could be wrapped up in a simple bracelet._

_He snapped back into reality as he noticed Julie’s mouth moving animatedly. “-and she just gave me hers! Isn’t that the coolest thing ever?_

_Luke couldn’t help but feel his lips take form of a familiar expression, one he had been wearing for countless hours the previous days. It was partially out of confusion, but mostly it felt like an instinctual reaction to Julie talking so grandly about anyone other than him (though he would never actually admit that). “I guess she sounds okay.”_

_Julie’s face dropped momentarily at his unenthusiastic tone, but chalked it up to his grouchy mood that Alex had mentioned earlier in the day. “What about you? How were your first few days?” She had hoped that them hanging together would help bring his spirits back up._

_Luke shrugged, suddenly interested in the carpet beneath them. “They were okay. I didn’t make any new best friends, if that’s what you mean.” The moment the words left his mouth, he kicked himself internally. He looked up to meet Julie’s concerned gaze. She didn’t seem mad at his accusatory tone. How her heart was so patient and how she always saw the best in people, he would never understand._

_“Are you mad at me?” Her voice was soft but her guilt was loud, echoing in his head. He didn’t want to make Julie feel bad for meeting Flynn, but the last few days had been more rough than he anticipated._

_“I’m not mad at you! I’m just,” he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Okay, maybe I’m a little mad. But not at you, at the world.” She looked at him expectantly, awaiting a response._

_Luke shook his head. After finally getting some precious alone time with his best friend, of course he would be the one to ruin it with his sour mood. He should’ve kept quiet. “Just forget it, Jules. It’s nothing.”_

_“No, Luke.” She tugged on his sleeve when he tried to move away from her, bringing their bodies close again. “Tell me.”_

_“I just miss my best friend,” he mumbled under his breath, his words barely audible._

_Julie bumped his shoulder so their faces could be in full vision of the other. “What was that?”_

_He lifted his head, locking eyes with Julie. “I miss my best friend,” he articulated louder._

_Her eyes softened and a smile spread on her lips. “I’m right here. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He felt her soft hands grab his, her grasp immediately warming his fingers like a shriveling plant kept in the shadows, longing for sunlight. The cold grip that had settled in his chest suddenly lifted, replaced with a warm glow that spread through his torso._

_Despite the feeling, doubt still crept in his mind. He didn’t dare look in her eyes as he asked her, “What about Flynn?” It was almost too embarrassing to ask, especially after she had assured him._

_“Flynn is just another friend. You have the guys the same way I have Flynn,” Julie reasoned. Her voice was patient and understanding, not wavering in pitch or tone in the slightest._

_And it seemed like an obvious statement. Because in the same way Julie explained, Luke had the guys. He had known Alex, Reggie, and Bobby longer than he had known Julie, but with Julie it was different. It was like their souls were carved from the same source, like their personalities, as contrasting as they were, also fit together like puzzle pieces._

_When she noted slight hesitation on his face, she spoke again. “You’ll always be my bestest friend Luke.” At her affirmation, Luke couldn’t help but grin widely. Julie returned his smile, relieved that they were okay again. But to be sure, she added, “Flynn isn’t replacing you, you know that right?”_

_“She gave you a friendship bracelet, Jules!” Luke desperately yelped. “I can’t complete with that. You know arts and crafts is your thing, not mine.”_

_She hit his shoulder, their bodies swaying in motion before settling down. She cleared her throat after a few moments of silence, shifting her body to face him. “You’re my best friend, Luke. Nothing will ever change that.”_

_**_

_“Luke! It’s time to head home,” Emily called out from the dining room, when she was instantly met with the familiar sound of groaning from not only her son, but Julie as well. The two of them trudged into the dining room to meet their moms, taking as much time as they could before coming to a stop. They kept bumping into each other on their way, clearly still tucked away in their own world._

_The moms could hear their conversation as they approached. “Are you going to keep your promise?” Luke looked expectantly at Julie with wide eyes._

_“I promise. You’ll always be my number one person.” Julie reached over to wrap Luke in her small arms, stepping on her tippy toes to press a quick kiss on his cheek._

_Emily’s jaw dropped at Julie’s response, though the little girl paid little to no attention to the reaction she induced. The older woman turned to her friend, extending her hand. “I’m willing to take you up on that bet, Rose.”_

* * *

Julie huffed in frustration the moment the door to her and Flynn’s hotel room shut. She whipped around to face her best friend. “How could you not tell me that Luke was going to be here?”

Flynn placed her hands in front of her in defense, pushing Julie to sit down on the bed to calm down. Before she could respond, Carrie’s voice was heard from the door connecting their room to her shared room with Kayla.

She was leaning against the door frame, staring at her nails as she responded. “We needed ten people for the trip package to be the price it was at. If you knew he was coming, we’d be down to nine, probably eight because Flynn wouldn’t come without you. This was the only way we could have it work.” She explained it as if it was obvious.

Julie glared at Carrie. As much as she wanted to scream and throw a fit about the whole situation, she knew Carrie was right. If she had known Luke was going to be here beforehand, she would’ve totally dragged Flynn out of this trip to do something else together. Plus, she had to admit, the whole package for this week was quite a steal — a beachside resort in Cancún with her best friends and a week full of activities? She’d definitely kick herself if she missed out on that.

The curly haired girl let out a sigh, resigned. “I guess you’re right. How bad could it be right? It’s not like all 10 of us are doing every single activity together.” The smile growing on her face quickly froze when she looked between Carrie, Flynn, and Kayla, who had just joined Carrie in the doorway. All three of them refused to make eye contact with her. “Right?” She pushed a little further.

“About that…” Kayla started, trailing off when Carrie hushed her.

Julie raised her eyebrows, shaking her head furiously. “You’re joking. There’s no way—”

“You’re going to be fine, J,” Flynn interrupted. “There’s eight other people on this trip that you can hang out with to distract you from Luke and his shenanigans. Actually, make that six because Alex and Reggie are going to be glued to his side. Possibly four because Willie and Alex are inseparable and Bobby will probably hang with them too.” Flynn winced upon noticing her friend's increasingly concerned look. “But you have us girls! Plus Nick! We’ll make sure to keep you guys as far as possible.”

Julie immediately laid down, grabbing a pillow off the nicely made bed and shoving it in her face to muffle the scream she let out. This was going to be a long, hellish week. So much for a fun spring break.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Julie,” Carrie lightly scolded her as she walked to sit next to Flynn on the bed. “Besides, this whole enemy thing is just a lot to deal with. You guys fight all the time and as much as you know I love you, sometimes it gets out of hand. Maybe spending a week together might resolve things.”

Julie removed the pillow from her face, scooching up the bed to lean back against the headboard.

“Plus, don’t you get tired of it?” Kayla’s soft voice spoke up from the doorway. She pattered to sit on Julie’s bed, shoving her hands under her thighs, a nervous tic of hers. “J, you’re my best friend-”

Carrie immediately cleared her throats audibly, feigning hurt when she caught the girl’s attention.

“You’re one of my best friends,” Kayla corrected. “But don’t you remember what it used to be like? 

Julie pursed her lips in thought. Fighting with Luke every second they were in close quarters with one another _was_ exhausting, but it was second nature now. Every time she thought of what they had before was tainted with that ugly memory. The yelling, the insults, the betrayal. All the anger and bitterness had only festered over the years and it was too much to ignore. It was easier to hate him than even entertain the thought of forgiveness.

Julie took a deep breath — _inhala, exhala —_ and smoothed her hands down her thighs. She knew that her strained relationship with Luke wasn’t easy for anyone, it certainly wasn’t any easier for her, even after all the time that passed. But if she learned anything from her mom, it was to be headstrong. To remain faithful in your own belief, to take your opinion to the grave. Luke had wronged her years ago and there was no going back from that, no matter how much she sometimes let herself wish there was.

“I know it’s hard, I just,” Julie finally spoke. She felt Kayla’s hand on her knee, a gesture of support. “We can’t go back to how things were, we just can’t.” Julie was nothing if not resolute when it came to her standing with Luke. She saw Carrie and Flynn trade sorrowful glances. Although they weren’t aware of the full story, they had been quick to take Julie’s side, but didn’t escape unscathed. Their friendships with Luke were also changed that day, they hadn’t deserved it. Julie felt the guilt rising up from her stomach into her throat. “I will be civil with him this week though, okay?”

Flynn arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “After the scene you guys pulled in the lobby earlier?”

Julie rolled her eyes. “I will _try_ to be civil with him. As long as he’s decent back.”

Carrie scoffed, tossing her hair. “I’d love to see that happen.”

**

As much as she loved the summer weather in LA, the yellow sun and bright blue waves Mexico offered were beginning to be a comparable option. The sandy area behind their resort was a private beach, which came with its own advantages: an outside bar, an equipment shack for sports and games, even food service. 

Kayla and Flynn were burying Reggie in the sand, while Bobby and Carrie tried to talk their way into snagging some drinks from the tiki bar. Alex and Willie were out wading in the water, enjoying themselves in their own bubble. Luke was off somewhere else, not that Julie paid him any attention. Her and Nick were stationed on their beach towels to watch everyone's belongings, chatting while they passed time in the sun.

Julie frowned when she suddenly felt shade hover above her body. Opening her eyes and shielding them from the harsh sunlight, she found Willie smiling over her body. “You guys down for some volleyball?” He knew she wouldn't turn down his offer.

Just a mere mention of her favorite sport had her smiling again. Sand volleyball had captured her heart the moment she watched the US team play in the summer olympics over a decade ago. It was an obsession turned hobby when she realized that it was a sport she was actually decent at. Her standing as co-captain of the varsity team only secured her passion for it. And while she was known to be extremely competitive, a friendly casual game seemed more fitting for spring break.

“I think we’re still missing a few people though. You guys mind rallying up the troops while we set up?” Willie asked, rolling the ball between his hands smoothly.

Julie and Nick nodded simultaneously, before turning in separate directions to find the remaining people of their group.

She scanned the area around her before she found him. His shaggy hair matched with his signature cutoffs made him stand out along the crowd. Her eyes traced the outline of his body, staring a moment too long at his arms, which seemed to bulge more than usual in the Mexican sun. She wouldn’t deny that puberty had treated him well, but clearly he was well aware of his own assets. In front of him stood a bikini-clad brunette, who was clearly into him, judging by the way she laughed as her fingers traced his bare biceps.

 _Of course_ , Julie thought. Luke had always been a womanizer, even back when they were on good terms. She had vivid memories of him flirting, sometimes unknowingly, with other girls in their grade. It used to make her jealous — she wanted her best friend to herself. Now, it made her internally vomit seeing him make sly attempts to charm someone. _Had he ever been a sweet guy at some point?_

Even yards away, his eyes cut right through her soul as they locked gazes, like he had sensed her looking at him. He smirked, before turning back to the girl in front of him and bringing her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. The girl was visibly flustered by the intimate gesture.

Julie’s eyes rolled to the back of her head before settling in their usual position, her legs moving to bring her forward towards Luke and the mystery girl. The sound of obnoxious giggles increased as she approached until she was a mere few feet from them. She tapped his shoulder, flashing a fake smile to the girl, who had narrowed her eyes in annoyance at the interruption, before landing her eyes on Luke. “Willie wants to play some volleyball if you’re down.”

“Sure,” Luke nodded, before turning back to the girl and winking. “I’m down for anything.”

She rolled her eyes at his sleaziness and almost gagged when the girl actually cooed at his line. Julie took a few steps back before whirling around, desperate to make some distance to avoid hearing further flirting on either party’s part. She only made it a few yards before Luke jogged up next to her, slowing his pace to match hers. 

“So tell me, you really flew all this way so you could flirt with more girls?” Julie asked sarcastically, her eyes trained forward to avoid looking at him next to her.

Luke stopped suddenly and gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest in fake exasperation. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Jules?” The sheer tease in his voice made her blood boil, nevertheless how he continued to use that name to mock her, knowing how much she hated it. It made her pause mid-step.

She felt the kindle of annoyance flash into a fiery anger, the kind that demolishes anything in its path without mercy. Julie swung her body around to face him, her words from earlier echoed in her mind. She had promised she would try, but only if he was going to return the favor. The glint in his eyes, the smug smirk she wanted to slap off his face, the way he towered over her in a pseudo-menacingly way. It was all too familiar. _Old habits die hard._

Her eyes didn’t waver as she bit back a response. “Don’t flatter yourself. Besides, when have you ever cared about how I felt?” Her eyebrows rose in a challenging manner, daring him to argue against a statement that was, and always had been, so blatantly true.

Sea glass green lightened ever so slightly. She had barely registered the softened color before it transformed into a deep green. She heard him breathe in through his nose, his eyes narrowing in a familiar daring expression. 

_Had he almost just faltered?_

“Hey, you two! Get back here already! The net's open!” They heard Bobby’s distant call from where she had originated this small detour.

Luke let out the air he inhaled, his eyes diverting over her head to where their friends were waiting for them. “We should head back,” he announced after clearing his throat, already beginning to move before she had time to process his words. They returned to the group, not risking a glance at the other. Julie looked up in time to see Flynn and Carrie exchange a knowing look. She sent them a weak smile. She _had_ tried, hadn't she?

Julie turned to the net, lowering her body on bended knees to get into the proper stance. Across the court, she saw Alex shaking his head at Luke.

At that moment, Luke turned his head and locked eyes with Julie. Even from afar, she could tell his gaze wasn’t as intense as before. It echoed the glimmer of lightness she saw in his eyes just minutes ago, before it had turned dark. She didn’t relent in her glare, grinding her teeth at the sight of him. _So carefree, never bothering for other’s feelings._ He’d been like that for as long as she could remember.

Kayla sidestepped her way to Julie, concern on her face. “Hey, you good?”

Julie was grateful for Kayla — even though she had originally melded into their friend group through Carrie, she never let being a stranger stop her from being genuine, caring for others. Under normal circumstances, Kayla was good at calming anyone down, but the residual seething anger Julie felt wasn’t going to dissipate without some cathartic outlet. Perhaps hitting a ball would be of more use. 

“Just peachy,” Julie gritted out through her teeth, forcing a smile. “Let’s play some goddamn volleyball.”


	3. i can't dare to dream about you anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week has been particularly rough but wanted to get out this chapter for you guys anyway! Filler chapters are my kryptonite though D:

_Julie was truly the daughter of her parents. There were bits and pieces of each guardian embedded into her personality, not to mention the fact that she was a replica of what her mom looked like at her age. Like Rose, she was headstrong, stubborn, and passionate about all things music. Like her dad, she’s caring, creative, and wore her heart on her sleeve._

_Despite her parents’ seemingly clashing personalities, their marriage was nothing short of harmonious. Julie saw the way her parents acted as one — like when her mom was in the middle of cooking dinner and her dad would wordlessly grab the necessary spices from the cupboard as he passed through the kitchen to his studio. Or when her mom could telepathically know the ways to inspire her dad when he was in a creative rut. It was like even in separate bodies, all their actions flowed in one cohesive movement._

_Julie knew from a young age what love looked like from spending a mere minute in the same room as her parents. She wanted nothing more but to have that one day. Years later, she would look back and identify that as the reason why she was always so eager to have crushes, to teeter on the possibility of exploring what love could be for her, yet simultaneously be too scared to find out for sure._

_(Julie didn’t realize how ridiculous of a notion that was for a fifth grader to have until then.)_

_Her habit of having crushes was so frequent that she had formed a routine. First, she would identify the boy (obviously). Second, she would obsessively doodle hearts with their initials on any blank surface she could find. Third, once the drawing phase had died down, she would write their name on a sticky note and place it in her dream box. Placing it in there signified her acceptance, though she was never brave enough to act upon it. Then after waiting a week, if she still had any lingering feelings, she would tell her mom about it._

_(She had only made it to the end maybe once for a certain shaggy haired boy. Nothing had happened since then, so she figured it had gone away.)_

_She was writing a name on a note when she heard knocking on her door. She jumped at the sudden sound, her head whipping to the doorway to see Luke come in. He made a run for her bed, flopping down on her duvet._

_“You ready for the best sleepover ever?” He stared up at her from where he lay, a goofy grin on his lips._

_(Her stomach churned at the way he looked at her. Maybe it didn’t go away.)_

_Julie smiled nervously, nodding. “Uh huh, I’m stoked.” She moved her body in front of her desk to block his vision, nudging her journal behind her back to cover the sticky note she was previously writing on._

_However, her movement hadn’t been inconspicuous enough, as Luke’s eyes tracked her movement. Always the curious one, he sat up, swiftly maneuvering around her to peek at the note. “What’s this?” He flicked at the paper on her desk._

_Julie’s eyes widened. She stammered out, “Nothing!” She snagged the note from his grasp, but it was too late. He had already seen it._

_“Brian?” His eyebrows raised in shock. “You have a crush on him?”_

_She snatched the note from his fingers, quickly shoving it into her dream box. She cursed her past self for spilling her secret routine to Carlos, who had just as quickly blabbed to Luke about it. “Maybe. What’s it to you?”_

_Instead of responding, Luke only waggled his eyebrows at her exaggeratedly. She knew he was only trying to get a rise out of her, but he looked ridiculous and she couldn’t help but laugh at his silliness. She laid down on the bed, waiting for him to join her just a second later._

_She stared up at the wall, her eyes fixating on the glow-in-the-dark stars her mom had let her stick there years ago. “I mean he’s cute. But Carrie told me today that Kayla overheard from Trent that Brian also might like-like me. And I guess I got kinda excited.”_

_Luke turned his head to look at her, the movement causing Julie to mirror him. “Ooh, Jules has a crush!”_

_“Shut up!” Julie grunted. “Like you haven’t had a crush before?”_

_Luke shook his head adamantly._

_(Why did her chest tighten at that?)_

_“Nah, love is for losers,” Luke said. He yelped when Julie hit him in response. He knew how much Julie adored love and always liked to poke fun. Minutes passed before he spoke up again._ _“I can’t believe you like Brian,” he teased, earning him a poke in his ribs._

_Julie rolled her eyes at him. “I can’t believe I’m best friends with you,” she taunted back as she sat up and rolled off the bed._

_“Julie has a cru-sh, Julie has cru-sh,” he singsonged. Julie whipped around to grab a pillow, but Luke was already on his feet, running out the room to dodge her blows. He continued to sing as she ran after him down the stairs, through the living room, making their way outside. She had finally trapped him in a corner in the studio where he surrendered, allowing her one final hit before they collapsed in a fit of giggles on the couch._

_She looked at him curiously, wondering why he made such a big deal about her crush. Julie pondered on it, only speaking up to ask after he noticed her staring at him. “Do you think Brian’s cool?” She didn’t know why she wanted his approval for something as silly as crush, but it seemed important that as her best friend, he didn’t have any qualms._

_Luke was silent for a moment, an odd serenity that Julie wasn’t used to. “He’s okay. But if you think he’s cool then I’m cool with him too,” he smiled back softly._

_His words made her grin in content. She turned from him, facing back up to stair at the chairs that dangled from the ceiling. But if she had only looked a little closer, she would have seen how his smile didn’t reach his ears._

_**_

_The next day, Luke kept making obnoxious jokes about her newfound crush on Brian. Any time they were remotely a foot away from each other, Luke would make smooching or cooing noises. She was at her wit’s end with his teasing and was worried, under numerous occasions, that Brian had overheard him._

_Like when the three of them stood close to each other in the lunch line and Luke had started humming randomly, a devious smile plastered on his face. It only took her a moment to recognize that he was indeed humming the K-i-s-s-i-n-g song, so she slapped her hand over his mouth, the sound of her hand clapping on his skin catching Brian’s attention. He raised an eyebrow at the duo, the attention prompting Luke to lick her palm in retaliation. She retracted her hand in disgust while Luke only grinned innocently, at which point Brian slowly turned around as if to pretend none of that had happened._

_Julie wasn’t sure how many more shenanigans she could endure from Luke but luckily it was Free-for-all Friday in art class, where they were allowed to work with any medium to create a random piece to take home. While she enjoyed any art class, Fridays were her particular favorite since it allowed her to hone in on her creative senses in a less restrictive space._

_Julie was carving a butterfly out of the clay in front of her for the seventh or eighth time, each attempt prior not meeting her standards for perfection. She moved her hand slowly but smoothly to complete the arc of the wing, leaning back to admire her work when finished. Her concentration was broken at the sound of someone joining her, the screech of a chair against the tile floor scaring her._

_She jumped and turned to scold her new companion, only to realize it was Luke. Julie narrowed her eyes at the sight of him, before focusing her mind back on the butterfly in front of her. She had to work fast before the clay dried out._

_“Juuuuulie,” Luke whined from her right. He knew well to not physically disturb her while she was working, but apparently he was not smart enough to leave her alone completely._

_Julie slapped her tool down, finally giving Luke the attention he desired. “What do you want?” She was grumpy after everything he had done the whole day and his presence during what was supposed to be a liberating and relaxing time was not going to bode well for her residual anger._

_Luke drew his lips into a pout, widening his eyes. “I’m sorry for being annoying.” He tugged lightly on a loose curl that fell from her bun, his eyes transfixed as the strand bounced from the tension._

_She batted his hand away from her hair, picking up her tool to start carving the design into the butterfly wing again. “Did Alex send you to apologize?” She asked, though she already knew the answer._

_His silence indicated that there was truth behind her assumption. After a beat, he replied, “Maybe. Will you please forgive me? I promise that from this moment, I’ll stop making fun of you.”_

_Julie sighed, this cycle of his chaotic (and often irresponsible) actions and her willingness to forgive him was all too familiar. “Fine,” she mumbled, her head still lowered to block out any distractions from around them._

_She could hear Luke’s smile as he glazed over it, rambling on about his ideas for their upcoming sleepover with the gang, going on about the planned movie marathon, the legendary snacks (courtesy of Mrs. Patterson herself), and his desire to stay up until the sun rose._

_He was in the middle of providing counterpoints to watching the Star Wars movies in chronological order over theatrical release order (like Reggie wanted) when Julie heard a fit of giggles from across the room. She looked up from her work to identify the source of the ruckus, only to find a swarm of her classmates surrounding someone, laughing uncontrollably._

_Julie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she turned to Luke, hoping that he would be able to provide some context, only to find him biting his lip in an attempt to stifle any laughter. She narrowed her eyes at him once again, sensing trouble. “What did you do?”_

_Luke looked at her with wide eyes, mirroring his innocent look from earlier. “Remember when you said that you forgave me?”_

_Julie groaned, pushing back from her chair, forgetting about her butterfly, and walking towards where the remainder of the class was. She peered over their shoulders and saw Brian, in the center of the circle, standing up with the chair stuck to his pants. He turned in circles, clearly frazzled at the fact that the chair was_ literally _attached to him._

_She made a beeline for the cleaning cabinet, grabbing a few paper towels and the bottle of rubbing alcohol. As she crossed the classroom to head back to Brian, who looked like he was close to tears, she stole a glance at Luke, who was laughing along with Bobby where she had left him at her table._

_He had the audacity to wink at her which only made her previous annoyance fuel into ire. He never knew when to stop, when it was too far, when enough was enough. She ground her teeth in anger, pushing past her (very unhelpful) classmates to get to Brian while Ms. Eber rallied the kids back to their seats and away from the mess._

_With the cleaning supplies in her hands, Julie approached him slowly, as if any sudden movement would cause him to run. She sent him a small smile, letting him know that she was only here to help. Kneeling down, she dabbed the towel in the rubbing alcohol, and began to try and dissolve the super glue that stuck Brian’s pants to the chair._

_Kayla came to assist shortly after and they helped him in silence, not knowing how to console the boy and tell him that as much as they scrubbed, his pants were probably going to be ruined. She overheard Ms. Eber scolding Luke and Bobby, the clear perpetrators, sending them into the hall to wait for the principal to come by._

_Julie and Kayla looked at each other, the soundless gaze they shared only further cementing the fact that no one knew what to do with Luke. Always antsy, always rowdy, always getting into trouble._

_Yet she knew that later, whether it was after school or at their sleepover tomorrow, he would come begging for her forgiveness and she would offer it without a second thought. He was her best friend, and as stupid as he was sometimes, she still loved him. But a part of her hoped that someday he would either learn to take actual responsibility from the consequences he bought upon himself, or that she would learn to stand her ground when it came to him._

_She wasn’t too sure either would happen._

* * *

Luke never understood the appeal behind shopping. Sure, it made sense for necessities like food and other things he needed to get by, but clothes? That went right over his head. He was well aware he could rock the sleeveless shirt look, so what point was there to try and change that? He had his favorite shirts and he would wear them until they disintegrated in his hands. And if that never happened, he would wear them to his own funeral.

When he realized that the day’s activity consisted of strolling along the boardwalk and browsing the little shops there, he was less than enthused. He had gone shopping with Alex and Reggie before, who had made the experience a little more bearable. But now that Alex and Willie were together, it would just be him and Reg — which wasn’t a _bad_ thing; Reggie just got distracted very easily and the last thing Luke wanted to do was visit every single shop along the boardwalk. When Kayla graciously took Reggie off his hands without a second thought, Luke praised whatever deity above that he would be able to roam around on his own (or sit on the beach for a few hours to pass the time).

Luke walked past the first few shops without so much as a glance in through the shops’ windows. He could see an entrance to the beach yards away, and he began to pick up the pace so he could get to his relaxing. He had brought his notebook with him, like he normally would, scared that inspiration could strike at any opportune moment and he would lose the words in his minds before he could jot them down.

Just as he was about to change the angle of his path, the sunlight beamed off of something in a shop to his left, catching his eye. He held his hand up instinctively to block out the brightness and found himself turning towards the shop, taking a closer inspection inside. It looked like an antique store with little trinkets and other miscellaneous items. He took a quick glance around him, making sure none of his friends were around him to see him willingly step into a shop for the first time, before entering.

The bell rang above him and he smiled as the owner made eye contact with him, tipping his head in greeting. Luke roamed through the aisles slowly, surprising even himself how a little store full of random knickknacks could capture his attention so intensely. When roaming down the third aisle, a small glass ornament caught his eye. The shape was beautiful and intricately carved, the appearance of it sending unrelenting sparks through his chest. Without hesitation, he grabbed it from the shelf and went straight to the counter. After paying, he slipped the wrapped ornament in his pocket, making a beeline straight to the beach.

He sat down in the sand, notebook in lap and pen in hand. Leaning back against a rock, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the ornament from its wrapping to inspect the delicate form. He set it down on his notebook, seeing how the sunlight caught and reflected off the shiny glass surface, projecting a tiny rainbow on the page. Colorful but tiny, intensity wrapped in such a small form.

He allowed his mind to wander as his eyes raked across the beach. The sound of Tejano music played in the distance from the outdoor bar. It was a different writing experience, to be engulfed in a new culture far from home, away from everything he knew. Words and phrases came to him slowly, but it was hard to solidify anything without his guitar. He strummed the air, his fingers contorting around the neck of an air guitar.

An hour passed and he didn’t have much on the page, save for a few decent lines he had underlined. Glancing at his phone, he realized that the group was meeting back at the boardwalk soon to get ready for dinner. He took one last glimpse over his work, scratching away at a lyric that made him cringe and quickly scribbling down a candidate title.

_Harmony_

**

The loud music blared from the speakers, shaking the ground of the club. Luke squinted to try and see through the dimly lit room, but the blacklight was making it difficult to concretely see. Luke was never a huge partier, despite his whole punk-rock image. It wasn’t so much the music or the people or the activities individually, but all together it created a sensory overload.

He supposed that this club was slightly better than the ones he had gone to back home. Though dark, he could make out that the venue was in general a lot cleaner. No mysterious smells or stains on the walls (at least ones that the blacklight would reveal) unlike the clubs the boys had played at. The mezzanine was better lit, creating a slightly classier aura.

Luke sipped his mojito, not batting an eye at the people who pushed past the table. He didn’t understand why Carrie wouldn’t let him stay at the resort for this particular activity. There was nothing he was going to miss out on if he hadn’t attended the festivities, aside from Alex and Willie drunkenly making out in some dark corner and Bobby pulling some shenanigans, assumedly with Reggie at his side.

He jumped from his seat when the latter two slid into the booth next to him, each with drinks in their hands. They were both giggling uncontrollably, their bodies shaking with laughter before slowly coming down from whatever high to acknowledge their grumpy frontman.

“You’re holding up surprisingly well,” Bobby tipped his drink in appreciation before taking another swig.

Luke shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

Bobby scoffed and laughed, downing the rest of his drink. He flagged down a nearby waitress for a refill before continuing. “No, idiot, I meant with Julie being on this trip with us. I’m surprised you’ve only thrown two tantrums so far, I bet Alex you’d throw at least ten before the week was over.” A full glass replaced the empty one in front of him.

Luke rolled his eyes. The guys had always like to poke at the way him and Julie were, even before everything that…transpired. He was a passionate guy, and the dislike Julie and him seemed to share fueled that more than other things. “Look,” Luke sipped his drink and sighed in resignation, “I know my relationship with Julie is strained.”

Reggie giggled from the opposing side. Luke was surprised that he was even paying attention to the conversation given how much is body was swaying subconsciously. “Strained? More like non-existent.”

“Either way, I don’t want that to get in the way of your guys’ spring break, or hers for that matter. I’m trying to be nice,” Luke reasoned. Though why he was trying to justify his actions to two of his more-than-tipsy friends, he didn’t know.

“Right, because you guys were _super_ chill at volleyball yesterday.” Bobby raised an eyebrow, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Reggie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, the tension was palpable.” Both Bobby and Luke instinctively winced at that descriptor.

“We were just being competitive.” Luke set his glass down, his fingers flipping the cardboard coaster in distraction. “Of course there was tension.”

“Yeah? Even when we put you guys on the same team for a game?”

Luke opened his mouth to respond, only to shut it moments later when he realized he had no comeback. They were right — the games yesterday were supposed to be chill and casual, but his rivalry with Julie had sat front seat and all his friends had to endure their bickering. He wanted to be civil — they were supposed to be relaxing on spring break after all, but in his defense, she had started it.

He refocused on his friends in front of him, who were continuing their conversation despite his absence.

“You think he’s finally realizing it?” Bobby asked.

“No chance, I’d give it a few days.”

“It’s already been like almost ten years. If he hasn’t realized it by now, he probably won’t ever.”

Reggie shot a finger gun at Bobby to show his agreement.

Luke looked between the two with confusion. “What the hell are you guys on about?”

“Remember what’s his face? Brad? Brandon?” Reggie continued, ignoring Luke’s objection.

Bobby snapped his fingers as he remembered. “Ah, Reg, I think you’re thinking of Brian. That lanky dude from Mrs. Haver’s class. We pulled that killer prank on him because Luke here was jealous.”

Luke sputtered on his drink, finally catching the attention of his friends. “What did you just say?”

Bobby smirked, finally acknowledging Luke into the conversation. “Oh, so you do remember that.”

Luke straightened his posture, unsure of where they were going. “Yeah, the super glue thing." He nodded hesitantly. "What’s your point?”

“Dude, come on. You've been in love with her for so long and I don’t think any amount of resentment could begin to hide the way you look at her when you think no one’s looking.” Reggie groaned as if he had been asked to repeat this obvious fact twenty times.

Bobby looked at Reggie in surprise. “For someone who fixed their amp in the rain, that’s one of the most knowledgeable and true things that have ever come from your mouth.”

“What can I say? I am very observant,” Reggie proudly stated as he shrugged, before taking al length sip from his margarita.

“You’re drunk,” Luke corrected. “Besides, whatever I felt in the past — not that I did have feelings — it doesn’t even matter now. She can’t stand me. That’s just how it’s going to be.” 

In his mind, he was being truthful to the situation. Apart from a super secret fleeting crush in elementary school, his feelings towards Julie had always remained platonic. She was his best friend and he wouldn’t dare try anything that could jeopardize their friendship. She had been through his ups and downs the same way he carried her burdens with her, forging a stronger bond between them. A connection that deep didn’t go away overnight, as much as they both tried to pretend it had.

In all honesty, he hadn't expected that their fight would cause such a huge rift. He had fully expected to grovel the next day and for her to forgive him, the way they had always done. But when he showed up the following day with her favorite cupcakes in tow, Carlos hadn’t allowed him past the stoop, only shaking his head and closing the door, taking the treats with him.

Luke allowed his eyes to roam around the room, hoping to free his mind of these thoughts when she caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. Dressed in black skinny jeans and a cropped top donned with butterflies, it was impossible to miss her. Though regardless of what she wore, Julie always seemed to be on his radar. He supposed it had to do with his lingering feelings for her — as a best friend of course.

He watched as she spoke animatedly with Flynn, laughing with a fruity cocktail in one hand, when a stranger approached her. His mouth moved and she smiled, and moments later he was leading her to the dance floor. Luke arched his neck to make sure he could keep an eye on them. Thankfully, they were situated closer to the outside edge of the dance floor in plain sight.

They seemed to be enjoying themselves dancing face-to-face judging by the joyful expression on both parties’ faces. But something shifted in the moment that the stranger twirled Julie around to plaster her back against his front. He continued to swivel his hips against her and even from across the room, Luke could sense her discomfort.

Julie was headstrong and stubborn and he was positive that she could remove herself from the situation. She guided the stranger’s hand away from her thigh in an attempt to remove his grasp, but the stranger, unrelenting, snuck his hand around her waist. Her struggles were less subtle as the music continued to blare. _Come on, Julie, where’s that fire?_

Without even registering his movement, Luke found himself walking towards them, ignoring Bobby and Reggie’s calls, and dodging the partygoers in his path without losing sight of his destination. He could still make out Julie pushing the guy off of her to little avail. Only a few more yards and he was within earshot.

“Get _off_. I don’t want to dance with you anymore.”

“Come on, mamacita. Don’t be so hard to get, I know you’re having fun.”

When he saw hands moving downwards and heard Julie squeak in protest, Luke grabbed the guy’s shoulder, twirling him around to face him. He puffed his chest subtly and spoke with conviction. “Hey, she said to stop.”

His opponent looked him up and down, gauging Luke. He chuckled darkly, not moving from where he stood, keeping Julie from Luke’s view. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Luke clenched his fist. He was never one to stand down from a fight when his friends were in danger. But Julie wasn’t just his friend anymore, she had made herself clear multiple times. Swiping a quick glance to where she now stood after sidestepping from behind the guy, he knew deep down there was no way he’d let anything happen to her, friends or not.

He took a step forward, breaking past any personal space boundaries and bringing his face close to his adversary. “You have five seconds to walk away or I’m going to make you wish you did when you had the chance,” he growled. 

The stranger seemed to entertain the thought of staying before taking a step back, glancing between Julie and Luke, both of them giving him some version of a death glare. He shook his head, mumbling something under his breath. Luke watched as the guy stalked away, tearing one last glance behind at him and Julie before continuing on his way.

Before he could fully cool down, Luke felt a hard slap on his shoulder, his hand coming up to rub at it instinctively. He turned to Julie, confusion stricken on his face. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

“Are you serious? What the hell was _that_? I had the situation completely under control.” Julie scolded him.

Luke looked at her in disbelief. Had he not just saved her from that slimy guy? Were they living in two separate realities? “Are _you_ joking?” Luke pointed his finger in the direction the guy had walked off. “He was practically glued to your body.”

“I said I had it handled. I didn’t need you to pull some self-righteous fragile masculinity bullshit and save the day.” Julie stood with her hip cocked and her arms crossed.

Luke objected immediately, still pent up from the residual energy of the confrontation. “That’s not what I was doing! He wasn’t respecting your-“

“If you fucking say he wasn’t respecting my boundaries, I swear to God I’ll punch you. Out of everyone on earth, you'd be the last one to understand how boundaries work.”

Her words echoed in his head repeatedly, reminding him of an old recurring dream. He shook it off, bringing his mind back into focus, into a reality where _he_ was getting ridiculed for scaring off some pervy punk.

“I was just trying to help! Jesus, Julie,” he agonized.

_Why did this conversation feel so familiar?_

Julie took a step forward in an effort to drive her next point home. “Well I don’t need your help! Just leave me alone.”

_Oh, that’s why._

Almost at the same moment in time, both of them realized the words spoken and their significance. Julie jerked backwards, taking a step back before turning and running from the dance floor, from him.

Luke watched helplessly as Julie found Flynn, who consoled her and guided them outside. He let out a breath, letting his head roll back in exhaustion. His head jerked back up at the sound of Alex’s voice to find the blonde and his boyfriend, hand-in-hand, in front of him.

“What was that?” Alex pointed backwards to the door where he and Willie had probably seen Julie and Flynn flee.

“I don’t fucking know, man. I was just trying to help her, the dude was like all up on her.” Luke was still in shock from what happened, his mind slowly catching up to speed.

Willie patted his shoulder reassuringly, one corner of his mouth twisted up into a small smile. “At least she's fine now. Just let her cool down.”

_Right. But hadn’t he been waiting for that for years now?_

He sighed, any remaining energy he had for the night spent after the events that unfolded. Grabbing the glass from Willie’s hand, he downed the liquid in a swift motion, barely wincing at the taste. He took another glance at the door the girls had used in their escape route. 

So much for trying to be nicer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this one!! I'm starting to slip in little clues on what went down between them - I'd love to hear your theories :)


	4. if i didn't know better i'd think you were still around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another day another filler chapter! 
> 
> shoutout to anyone who also gets migraines because i feel utterly betrayed that i was created this way :/
> 
> hope you enjoy this one! :)

_Staring blankly at the worksheet in front of him, Luke let out a groan. He slumped in his seat, sighing dramatically to attract the attention of his study buddy. He peaked out of the corner of his eye, but Julie paid him no attention. Defeated, Luke tried to refocus on the paper in front of him, but the mix of numbers and letters only caused him to be more confused._

_Math never came easy to Luke. Sure, he understood basic operations, but the addition of letters and complicated formulas only perplexed him more. He supposed that algebra would just be another one of those things beyond his realm of understanding._ _He stole another quick look at Julie, who hummed softly as she typed away on her essay. If there was anything he understood fully, it was probably Julie. He felt like he could ace a class on all things Julie Molina._

 _Like how she hated wearing her hair down because of how annoying the stray curls could be. And that most of the books in her room weren’t for reading, but rather used for anchors for all her friendship bracelets._ _Or how she claimed that the best pieces of Chex Mix were the breadsticks and the pretzels, much to Luke’s own dismay. He strongly believed that those were the two parts Chex Mix could do without, but it worked in his favor because the two of them could easily devour a bowl (or bag) since her least favorite bits were his favorite._

_(He also quite enjoyed when they shared a bowl of snacks, their fingers grazing occasionally when they simultaneously reached into the bowl.)_

_And like any pair of best friends, it was all reciprocated. Julie knew he refused to eat his hot dogs with ketchup because it ruined the bun. And that he could never sleep well unless he was holding his stuffed bunny, Mr. Hopps._ _Or how he only liked to listen to albums on shuffle rather than in track order for the spontaneity. Julie, upon discovering this, was horrified when he played the soundtrack of Hairspray on shuffle, completely ruining the chronology of the story._

_(After that incident, Luke only let soundtracks to musicals play in order to avoid a repeat performance of Julie’s rampage.)_

_Of course he knew weird details about the guys too, from Bobby's irrational fear of fish to Reggie's willingness to try_ anything _edible to ways to ease Alex after a panic attack. That came with the territory of knowing each other since they were each in diapers (some longer than others)._

_But with Julie, even though he knew her for probably half as long as the guys, their friendship had clicked differently. Her quirks only complemented his eccentricity and his hobbies rounded off her interests. They were like pieces from different puzzles that fit together._

_And the adjunction of who they were meant that they knew each other inside and out._ _He knew that she got stressed easily, whether it was from school, social groups, and even sometimes her family. He knew her tendency to hide in her room, curled under her weighted blanket, as she waited for the feeling to escape. And even though she would beg to be left alone, he also knew it was always better to stay close by, either holding her hand from outside her blanket cocoon or wrapping her in his warmth underneath it with her._

 _It was comforting to know that he could help ground her when she felt herself floating in the midst of life, and even more fitting that she made him feel the same way._ _Luke knew that he had a relatively short fuse, quick to get angry at little things not going his way. (He liked to blame it on his passion for life, Julie liked to blame it on his impatience.) But under numerous occasions, when he felt the string about to snap, he could feel Julie’s hand slip into his, fingers intertwining, and one, two, three squeezes to let him know she was there. And it was like her presence made all other troubles melt away._

_Luke’s thoughts were interrupted at the sound of Julie groaning on the bed where she was studying. His eyebrows piqued with interest, his brain begging him to find any escape from the hell that was algebra. “Jules? You okay?”_

_Julie grimaced lightly but smiled. “Mhmm. I think I just have a headache coming on. Probably spent too long staring at my computer.”_

_Luke frowned. He moved to get up from where he was stationed at her desk. “Headache or migraine?”_

_Julie hummed in thought before shrugging. “Too early to tell.” She rubbed at her temple, her eyes closed, seeking relief._

_“I’m going to slip downstairs to get what you need, just lay down.” Luke watched as she began to shift positions to lay down before heading downstairs to retrieve what he needed._

_Rose was in the foyer reading when she heard hurried footsteps descend down the staircase. By the time she made her way into the kitchen, Luke was already raiding her pantry in a calm yet hurried manner. “Everything okay, Luke?”_

_Luke swiped her a quick smile and glance before returning his attention to the shelves in front of him. “Yep. Jules has a headache and I’m just getting her stuff before it gets any worse.” His hands moved to grab the tea with the yellow label and the medicine on the second shelf._

_Rose smiled at the boy. She walked to the counter, grabbing two bananas off the bundle to set near him. She was surprised that Luke had the Molina migraine routine down so well — two tablets, a cup of turmeric tea, a heat pad, and two bananas. It had been a working cure for Ray, his mother, his mom’s dad, and now Julie (though she had wished the migraines didn’t get passed down to her). She filled the kettle with water and took out a mug for the tea, her eyes following Luke as he retrieved the heating pad from the lowest shelf of the cabinet._

_He spun to face her, smiling when he was met with the bananas he needed, placing down the yellow tea packet in exchange for the fruit._

_“Thank you for taking care of her, Luke.”_

_Luke felt his cheeks turn pink at the compliment as he attempted to bat his hands, although they were full with everything he needed to bring back to Julie. “It’s no big deal. I know she’d do the same for me.”_

_Rose spoke as she poured the water into the mug, bouncing the tea bag in the water to let its flavor seep in. “I’m glad Julie has a friend like you.” She slid the mug across the counter to Luke, who carefully lifted the hot tea in his hand, balancing the remaining items in his other arm._

_“Trust me, I’m lucky to have her.” Luke couldn’t help but grin at his words. No truer words had ever been spoken._

_He trudged up the stairs, careful to not spill any hot tea on his hand. Once inside her room, he lightly kicked the door shut behind him before setting down the meds, tea, and bananas on the table, dropping the heat pad onto the mattress from where he held it to his side beneath his arm._

_Julie peaked up from where she was huddled, only revealing her eyes. They squinted in a smile as she murmured a quiet “Thank you” to him. He gestured to the items on her bedside table before moving to shut the blackout curtains by her bay window._

_He grabbed his math textbook, worksheet, and pencil, before sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, maintaining a close distance from her. The sound of her humming lightly as she drank her tea soothed him as his eyes looked over the worksheet in front of him._

_(It still made no sense, but he hoped it at least looked like he was trying so that Julie, out of pity, would help him later when she felt better.)_

_Minutes passed and he heard her shift above him. He glanced back at Julie, who was now curled up under her covers trying to rest. If there was one thing he knew completely, it was that Julie, this magnificent being in front of him, was his best friend, quirks and all, and he would never let anything change that._

* * *

Julie groaned as the sun shined into the hotel room, blindingly bright rays hitting her face. She turned away from the window, blinking her eyes slowly to find Flynn sitting upright in her bed, scrolling aimlessly on her phone.Flynn must’ve noticed her movement, stealing a glance at the barely awake teen. “Morning, J. Your Advil and water is on the table.”

Julie was grateful to have a friend like Flynn, someone who knew what you needed without asking, someone who was by your side to celebrate, weep, and rant. She rubbed the heel of her hands in her eyes before pushing herself up, swallowing the aforementioned pills on her nightstand to hopefully appease the headache she felt.

Had she really drank that much? She remembered getting to the bar, drinking a few cocktails, and leaving with Flynn to drink more from their hotel room’s mini-fridge. (Normally, she would never but as Flynn said, YOLO.) Why did they even leave the bar to just come back and drink more? She tried to search her memories of last night, though the pounding in her head was making it hard for her to concentrate.

Flynn looked at her, amused. “You trying to remember last night?”

Julie offered a meek smile, embarrassed that she had already forgotten.

“We went to the club, got lit on some margs, some cute guy asked you to dance, he got frisky, Luke came over, you and Luke got into some weird argument, and then we left and came back,” Flynn listed off, bringing a finger up for every event.

Julie’s mind suddenly sobered at the mention of Luke though the inside of her head continued to thud loudly. She could hear parts of their conversation once the stranger had left after Luke’s threats. She internally winced at the sound of her own voice, yelling at him for crossing her boundaries.

Flynn swung her legs over the side of the bed to face Julie, who still remained silent. “Look, I don’t know the specifics of last night, but you seemed pretty upset, like more than usual after your fights with him.”

Julie looked up at her friend. She wanted to explain everything to her, to give her the rundown of what had actually happened that day years ago. How he had entered the room as her best friend and left as a traitor. How he shattered her trust by treating her like everyone else, when he had been the one person she could still feel herself around. How the words they exchanged last night had only reminded her of the hurt and brokenness she felt the day she lost her best friend.

“I’m okay, Flynn, seriously. I think I was just in my feels last night, but thank you for taking care of me.” Julie smiled at her, hoping her friend would take the bait.

Flynn seemed hesitant but eventually smiled back. “You know I’m always here, okay?” At Julie’s nod, Flynn’s grin grew. “Good, now let’s get ready for today’s activities!” She jumped from the bed, pattering over to her open luggage, fishing for an outfit. “We’re going to the Mayan ruins today and you bet we’re going to look cute as hell for it.”

Julie laughed at her best friend’s antics, hopping up to join her in finding an ensemble that would hopefully match the flair of Flynn’s fashion sense. As they bounced around each other in the bathroom, singing along to the songs blasting from Flynn’s phone, Julie tried to ignore the consistent throb of her head. She wasn’t going to let a hangover headache get in the way of having a good day.

It wasn’t long before the duo had finished their look, throwing compliments back and forth at each other as they admired their final appearance in the bathroom. They came out to find Carrie and Kayla hanging on their beds, the four of them quickly resuming to hype each other up. Carrie and Kayla caught the other two girls up on the events they missed out on after leaving the club, detailing Alex and Willie getting caught in the bathroom in the middle of an intense make-out session and Bobby's unsuccessful attempts to do body shots. They seemed to make a mental look to not bring up Luke and his whereabouts after what had happened the night before. Kayla was in the middle of describing Reggie's promiscuous dance attempts when Carrie's phone rang, indicating that they needed to meet with the group downstairs to catch the tour bus.

Julie wiped the tears that had formed from laughing. Spending time with her friends like this was what this break was supposed to be about and she had missed out on a lot of golden memories because of her argument with Luke. She scolded herself mentally, making note that she wasn't going to let anything get in her way of having fun for the remainder of the week. She stood up from the bed to join the other girls, the sudden movement causing throbbing pain in the back of her head. She winced visibly, inhaling sharply at the sudden onset.

Flynn turned to her, concern flooding her features. “J? Are you okay?”

Julie stood still, her eyes clamped shut as she felt her head pulsate. She opened her eyes slowly, adjusting her eyes to the light in the room to find Flynn, Carrie, and Kayla looking at her with worried faces. “I’m fine.”

Kayla looked apprehensive. “You look like you have a migraine, Julie.”

“No, it’s just a little headache. Nothing I can’t manage.” Julie forced a smile, though she could start feeling the pulses getting louder and louder.

Flynn took a step towards her, her face only mere inches from Julie’s. Her eyes searched her face before she backed away, as if she had found what she was looking for. “Your eyes are straining and starting to glaze. You have a migraine coming on, don’t you?”

Julie closed her eyes briefly, though it did little to settle the pounding in her head. The room was too bright and realistically, there was no way she would actually be able to ignore the pain once they stepped out into the actual sunlight. She nodded slowly, pouting slightly at the acceptance. “Yes, but I don’t want to miss out on today’s activities.”

“You wouldn’t enjoy it if you were in pain the whole time,” Carrie spoke from where she stood at the door. She tapped on her phone a few times before looking back up. “We can push back the tour a few hours and hopefully by then, you’ll feel a little better and we can go? How does that sound?”

Julie waved her hands in front of her. “I can’t ask you guys to do that. This is the best time to go to the ruins anyway. Just take a lot of pics for me.” She slowly sat back down on the bed, her body aching to crawl under the covers and hide from the light.

Flynn sat next to her, rubbing her back soothingly. “I’ll stay with you and keep you company.”

Though she should’ve withheld from making any big motion that would cause her pain, Julie shook her head adamantly at Flynn’s offer. “No, Flynn. This was like your favorite activity you were looking forward to. You guys should all go and have fun, I promise I’ll be fine and I’ll just join you guys at dinner, okay?”

Flynn looked between her and the other two girls, contemplating her decision. With one last look at Julie, her eyes searched Julie’s for confirmation. “You sure you’ll be okay here?”

Julie smiled, appreciative that Flynn had even considered staying behind in the first place. “Yes, now go and have fun. You all look hot as hell and I'm expecting a photoshoot amount of pics when you’re back, okay?” She pushed Flynn to stand, nudging her as much as she could towards the door from where she was stationed on the bed.

Kayla moved swiftly to shut the curtains before heading back to the door, where the three girls smiled and waved at Julie before leaving. Julie let out a breath. She looked down at her outfit, considering whether she should change if she was just going to lay in bed for the next few hours. Wanting to keep the clothes wrinkle-free for when she would wear them for dinner, she slowly peeled them off and changed back into her pajamas, before slipping under the covers to sleep.

**

When she woke an hour later, the thumping in her head hadn’t relented at all. She sluggishly got out of bed, her eyes scanning the table’s contents for any remedies. There was only some decaf instant coffee and a few packets of sugar, a discovery that made her groan (both in pain and frustration).

She looked at her phone, typing quickly and looking at her surroundings. The closest convenience store was just short of a five minute walk. With the consistent throbbing in her head and no other option, Julie gave in. If there was any hope of her migraine going away before dinner, she needed to get everything.

Julie changed into a tank top and shorts, slipping a thin cardigan over her shoulders. She made sure to grab the hotel key and looked at the directions briefly on her phone to map the quickest route there and back. The less time she spent in direct sun, the better.

Just as she swung open the door, Julie came face-to-face with Luke, or technically his back, as he slowly stood up from where he had bent over to place a bag at the doorstep. He looked up at her, startled and frozen in space.

“Luke?” Her voice was hoarse as she tilted her head in question.

Luke grabbed the bag he had previously placed on the floor, extending it out for her to take. “Sorry, I was just going to leave this here.” He offered her a small smile. “Not sure if I should knock or not ‘cause, you know, boundaries.” The smile on his face let her know it was all in good fun, that this small jab wasn’t meant to be as malicious or sarcastic as their normal bickering would be.

Through the plastic bag, she could make out a bottle of tablets, a box of tea, and a bundle of bananas. He still remembered her routine. She willed her heart to stop fluttering.

“I, uh, figured that you would need these. I forgot the name of the tea you liked, but just grabbed the yellow box.” He spoke gently, his unoccupied hand rubbing at the back of his neck. His eyes lifted slowly to hers as they made direct eye contact with no harbored resentment for the first time in years.

She hesitantly grabbed the bag from his hand, ignoring the feel of their fingers brushing against each other slightly. She glanced quickly inside the bag, taking note that while it wasn’t tumeric tea, his effort was still noted. “Thanks,” she muttered.

Luke nodded in response, pausing for a moment before he leaned back on his heels. “I should, um, probably head back to the group. I just told them that I’d stop by and drop this stuff off for you.”

Julie was still in shock, thoughts flying all around in her mind. Like the fact that he had not only remembered her routine for her migraines, but had actually made the effort to bring her what she needed. And that he remembered how grueling the sun could be on days like these for her. She felt more remorseful for the way she had treated him the night before.

The sudden movement of Luke turning to leave broke her out from her train of thought, and before she knew it she spoke. “Wait, Luke.” She didn’t reach her hand out to stop him, but he stilled and turned his head towards her nevertheless. “I’m sorry about last night.” When Luke turned the rest of her body to face her, she continued. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, I know you were just trying to protect me or whatever. I appreciated it.”

Apparently her showing a sign of kindness was a shock to him too, as Luke blinked a few moments with his mouth ajar. A small smile creeped on his face, breaking him out of his trance. “Anytime, Jules, you know that.”

Even though his voice was soft, she had heard the nickname slip off his tongue. Sure, he had called her that before this trip, but it was more often than not in a teasing way, knowing that it would get under her skin. But now, with the sincerity in his voice, she found herself unbothered by its use. It kind of reminded her of old times.

She noticed that Luke’s eyes looked at her earnestly, signifying that he wasn’t trying to bother her this time with his words. When she let out a small grin, he returned it immediately. “You know,” he started, “I think maybe we should call a truce. Be civil for this week at least.”

Julie let out a breath, nodding amusedly. “Yeah, I think the girls are kind of sick of me complaining about you running around like a cute, overexcited puppy.” Her eyes widened as she processed the words that escaped her mouth. Maybe this migraine was also killing her brain cells slowly.

Luke smirked, his left eyebrow raising. “You think I’m cute?”

“Weren’t we going to call a truce?” Julie quipped back, desperate to hide the warmth she could feel starting to spread on her cheeks.

He straightened up in response, saluting her mockingly. “Aye aye, boss.” He held out a hand in the space between them. “Truce?”

Julie smiled, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding the medicine and bananas to shake his. “Truce.”

And if they both felt a spark the moment their hands touched, neither one of them said a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh!!! sparks flying pew pew 
> 
> finally get to start writing more fluff and less angst and im EXCITED it's my time to shine


	5. what died didn't stay dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hot minute! sorry this one took me so long to get out, i definitely had a lot of trouble writing this to a point where i loved it (not me writing a 5k chapter lmao), and even now i still am unsure. but hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter as much as you've enjoyed the previous ones!

_When Rose got sick, the world seemed to stop for everyone. The sun stopped shining as brightly and the darkness of the night overtook the day. Life was no longer about the future; Carlos’s dreams of being a major league baseball player, Julie’s dream of becoming a famous singer, Ray’s dream of opening his own photo studio, even the boys’ dreams for their new band, Sunset Curve — it all was placed on the back burner. Every day seemed to be a repeat of the day before and so became the routine mindset of living every day like there was no tomorrow. Because as much as no one wanted to admit it, that would eventually be the case._

_(It was around two weeks post-diagnosis that Sunset Curve wrote Now or Never. When Luke played an acoustic draft for Julie and Rose, the three of them cried for hours.)_

_Julie, already facing the struggles of teenage years, took the diagnosis the hardest. Her relationship with her mother was beyond the usual maternal bond. Rose had brought her into the world of music, introducing her to the smooth licks of jazz, the heart-pounding drums in rock, the tingle of classical music. Wherever her mom was, there was music._

_But as weeks passed after the initial diagnosis, the music began to fade. Her mother was still getting used to the exhaustion that came with treatment, her body unfamiliar with the best way to conserve her energy. Carlos and Julie came to an unspoken agreement to help out more around the house in order to keep their dad sane._

_At first, the days seemed too quiet. Julie was so used to coming home from school to find Rose in the studio, fingers splaying across the piano keys or plucking at the guitar strings in an effort to find some musical inspiration. Before the diagnosis, Luke had been joining in on the sessions to seek help on a work-in-progress Sunset Curve song or to simply enjoy being in the presence of the two people who inspired him the most. Him and Julie agreed that it would be best to put their jam sessions on a hold as to not overwhelm an already exhausted Rose._

_Julie came home to find her mother in various spots in the house, but always resting. There were days she’d still be in bed, afternoons where she would be on the couch in the living room, and more recently, times where she would make it all the way to the studio. The first time it had happened sent Julie into a frenzy, panicking that she couldn’t find her. Ray eventually pointed her to the studio, where she found Rose on the couch, staring at the instruments around her without the strength to make a noise._

_It became clear to Julie then that she wasn’t the only one who noticed the fading music._

_Her mom had looked at her with a smile that didn’t quite reach her cheeks. Julie couldn’t tell if it was due to the exhaustion or the disappointment. She came to kneel in front of her mom, checking to make sure that she was okay. Her eyes searched Rose’s face for any signs of harm and was relieved to see none._ _“Are you okay mom?”_

_Rose’s smile didn’t falter. She brought up a hand to cradle the side of her daughter’s face, Julie instantly turning her head to the warmth. “Will you play for me, mija?”_

_Julie hesitated, well aware that her mom had avoided the question. But the look of hope on her mom’s face put any concern aside — if she could make her mother happy for just a fraction of a second, she would vow to try continuing to do so for as long as she could._

_And so the end of one routine brought about a new one. Every day after school, instead of finding her mom playing away in the studio, Rose would be waiting on the couch for Julie to join. Slowly but surely, things began to feel normal again._

_Julie tossed her backpack to the ground upon entering the studio with more force than normal._

_Rose looked at her daughter amusedly from where she was now on the piano bench. “Rough day at school?”_

_Julie let out a big sigh. “Math’s been kicking my butt lately. I just want to destress.”_

_“Let’s write today then. Maybe it’ll help get some feelings out.” Rose patted the spot next to her on the bench, scooting over to give Julie some room._

_Julie hopped over excitedly, taking a seat in front of the piano to gaze at the sheet music in front of her. She recognized her mother’s hand writing, her eyes taking in what was written so far, landing on the title scribbled at the top of the page. “_ Finally Free _. I like that.”_

_Rose looked over at her daughter fondly. There was a silver lining in doing treatment and having to rest because it gave her more time to work on writing music again, something she enjoyed all too much. “I worked on a bit of it today. Maybe you can help me with the pre-chorus?”_

_The teen nodded enthusiastically, bringing her hands up to the keys to try the chord progression on the page. Her hands moved swiftly between the chord formations as she sung the melody drawn out from the verse. “I’m awakened, no more faking, so we push all our fears away.” She continued in the progression, her voice humming a soft, tentative melody._

_Rose's face lightened at the sound. “I like what you just did there. Let’s work with that.”_

_Julie repeated the melody playing her head, her mind searching for words that would fit. She could hear her mom humming alongside her, undoubtedly going through the same process. Her mom had taught her everything she knew about songwriting, from creating a rhythm to experimenting with lyrics. It was like creating your own puzzle pieces, trimming the edges until it fit perfectly with the bigger picture._

_The memory of their previous songwriting sections brought her happiness, but there was a part of her that was always worried about what could happen next. While the chemotherapy seemed to be working and Rose was showing signs of improvement, there were always unknown variables, and that terrified Julie. If things changed in an instant, what would happen then? She wasn’t sure if she could make it this far again. She had done so much to get herself here._

_Her brain worked quickly, transforming her thoughts into a cohesive line. She restarted the chords, singing what she had come up with. “Don't know if I'll make it if I'm always falling?"_

_Rose hummed and thought about it, before nudging Julie to play the notes again. “Don’t know if I’ll make it ‘cause I’m falling under.”_

_Julie nodded, continuing the progression. “Close my eyes and feel myself starting to wonder?”_

_“I like that, but then I think we would need another round of those chords to finish the sentiment before this part.” Rose pointed to the sheet, the tip of her finger covering the words_ I wanna fly _._

_The younger Molina took note of the observation, racking her mind for different rhymes. “Close my eyes and feel my chest, beating like thunder?”_

_Rose’s eyes lit up and she clapped her hands, cheering. “Yes! That’s so good, Julie!” She scrambled to grab her pencil, slowly writing down the words in the margin of the paper._

_Julie watched her mother’s motions, happy that she had come up with a decent line, but not missing the fact that her mother’s movement had been slower than usual. She didn’t realize she was staring until she snapped back into focus and found her mom observing her._

_“What’s wrong, mija? These are good lines.” Rose motioned to the paper in front of them, which was only a few parts short of becoming a complete song._

_Julie willed back the tears she could feel beginning to form and slowly retracted her hands to rest in her lap. Every time she thought too hard about what was happening, the emotions she worked hard to bury surfaced, but she always did her best to keep herself from crying in front of her mom. She was the one actually dealing with the cruelty of it all._ _Her eyes glanced over the words on the sheet again._ I wanna fly, come alive. Been so long and now we're finally free. _The meaning of the words weren't lost on her. She smiled weakly, shaking her head to dismiss her thoughts. “Nothing. I was just thinking that this could be a good song for, you know, when you beat this.”_

_Rose’s gaze on her daughter softened at the words, her heart doubling in size at the love she felt for her daughter. How she had been blessed to have not one, but two incredible children with the love of her life, she would never know what she did to deserve this. But Julie, time and time again, always proved to be someone who was hopeful and never let anything overshadow the brightness she radiated. She hoped that never changed. Her voice cracked as she spoke, “I like the sound of that.”_

_Julie leaned into her mother’s side, resting her head on her shoulder. Rose wrapped her arm around her to snuggle her close to her body. She turned her head, pressing a kiss to the top of Julie’s head. They sat there in silence, reveling in the implication of the song’s meaning._

_A few moments passed before Julie spoke up, her head turned to look up at her mom in curiosity. “When it’s all over, what’s the first thing you want to do?” Her voice was small but hopeful, and Rose mentally stopped the logical, adult side of her brain from correcting Julie’s “when” to an “if.”_

_“Besides get a wig?” Julie giggled, nodding for her mom to continue. “Travel. You know, your dad and I traveled a lot before you and Carlito came along.”_

_Julie sat up in interest. The life that her parents lived before seemed so distant yet full of surprises. She remembered learning something new about them every day when she was younger, always asking questions. “Where was your favorite place?”_

_Rose took a moment to contemplate before answering. “Costa Rica. Your dad and I went a long, long time ago. We hiked through the jungle and found this beautiful secret waterfall. It was a little off the trail but it was the most gorgeous sight.” She looked over at her daughter, who continued to look at her in awe. “Well, third gorgeous after you and Carlos.”_

_Julie scrunched her nose at the compliment. “What was it like?”_

_“The waterfall?” Julie nodded. “Tranquil, serene. If you close your eyes, you can feel the mist in your face and hear the sound of the water. It’s wild and free but calming at the same time. Chaotic and relaxed, just like two other rascals I know.” Rose winked at her daughter, causing Julie to snicker._

_“That sounds so cool, mom.” Julie looked at her mom, her eyes flitting to the unfinished song in front of them. “Will you take me to see one someday?”_

_Rose’s eyes fell forward, staring at the words she had spent the whole morning writing in an effort to release her thoughts. “Of course, cariña, of course.”_

* * *

Luke wasn’t really sure what to make of yesterday’s events.

After him and Julie agreed to a truce, his mind began to wonder what it really meant. What was their relationship supposed to be now? They had gone from best friends to enemies to now…friends again? Or maybe acquaintances was a more fitting term. If he was being truthful, he had assumed that after years of constant bickering and pushing each other’s buttons, their interactions would only be awkward and tense. He wasn’t sure how they could bounce back from who they had been the past few years.

Then the group reunited for dinner. He was so in his head about how to act that he was too slow to grab a seat and ended up in the last empty seat, which just so happened to be next to Julie.

(One look at Alex and Willie made him believe that this was somehow their doing. He knew he probably shouldn’t have told them about the truce.)

But what could’ve been a night of unpleasant exchanges ended up being a lot more comfortable. It wasn’t like the events that had transpired between them had dissipated completely; there was still a sense of hesitation in their conversation. Yet as the night went on, Luke could feel his tense shoulders dropping and his heightened awareness relaxing at the distant sense of familiarity.

Luke rolled out of the hotel bed, dragging his feet to the bathroom quietly as to not wake a sleeping Reggie. He stared at his reflection as he brushed his teeth, taking note of the scruff on his chin and the bags that were forming under his eyes. (No one ever gets good sleep while on vacation, right?)

Things weren’t the same, they were far from it. But the fact that they could joke and talk like (somewhat) normal people again felt good to him. For a long time, he knew they could never go back to the way things were. Too many things had been said that day. And now, they had both changed so much, becoming their own person outside of the other.

But last night, something inside him unearthed: a part that wanted to hold onto hope, possibility, _something_ that could mean they could rebuild their friendship, even if it meant starting from scratch.It was an unusual and foreign feeling, and it didn’t help that Reggie’s drunken observation from the other night was still replaying in his head.

_“You’ve been in love with her so long.”_

Normally, Reggie’s intoxicated revelations were a result of a lack of common sense. But Luke couldn’t find any holes in this one. Had he really been in love with her from a young age? He willed his mind to think back to the memories they had shared, the ones that weren’t biased from their explosive fight. He remembered the good days: the playdates, the sleepovers, the jam sessions. Was it weird that in those moments, where he knew they had been with other people, he could only really remember Julie? Her smiles, her reactions, just her. _Jules_.

Luke bent over the sink, dousing his face with a splash of cold water to distract him from the thoughts ruminating in his head. He patted the towel on his skin to soak up the droplets.

Jules — that nickname had been used as a weapon the past few years. He knew the significance behind it, her mom having coined it originally, so he knew using it would only rile her up. He knew it was why Flynn called her J and everyone else called her Julie. It was reserved for special people, for her mom and for what he used to be to her.

In truth, she had always been Jules to him. Julie never felt right, too formal in the same way Lucas made him feel like a man in his late forties.

Being friends or acquaintances or whatever they were now meant that he had to hold back the intuition to bite back and be more careful with his words. After letting the nickname slip after he dropped off her medicine yesterday, he knew he had to make a conscious effort to call her Julie again. Jules was reserved for people special to her and he had lost that honor a long time ago.

He hadn’t meant to call her it at dinner last night and immediately kicked himself for its use. She had to know he didn’t mean it maliciously and he tried to apologize, but she only chuckled and waved him off.

_“It’s fine, Luke. I don't mind if you call me that.”_

It seemed like such a simple permission she granted him, but he couldn’t help but relish in the implication. It meant that he could be on good terms with her, and the thought of earning back his spot in her life had his heart beating faster in the moment. How was it possible that something so small could make his heart race, when just a few days ago, he was on the verge of a screaming match with her?

Reggie’s words echoed in his head again.

_"I don’t think any amount of resentment could begin to hide the way you look at her when you think no one’s looking.”_

Shit. He was so screwed.

**

“Is this really necessary?” Willie groaned as his finger continued to click on Carrie’s phone, the camera capturing picture after picture of Carrie and Nick posed in front of the trees. Admittedly, it was a beautiful backdrop, Luke thought, but taking fifty pictures of them in the same pose (though Nick’s face grew increasingly tired) seemed like overkill. When Luke saw today’s activity consisted of one of the area’s most popular nature trails and hikes, he had not expected that they would be wasting so much time taking pictures instead of soaking in the beauty that Mother Nature had to offer.

Carrie rolled her eyes at his whining, taking the phone from his hands to look over the photos. “You’re the best photographer in the group. You can’t blame me for taking advantage of your skills, Willie.”

Alex seemed to beam at the compliment on behalf of his boyfriend, swinging his arm around his shoulders in a display of affection. “I can, however, blame you for stealing my boyfriend when we should be the ones having our photos taken.”

Luke zoned out of the continuing conversation, taking a look around him. He paused, furrowing his eyebrows and counting the heads in front of him. There was only nine of them here. He recounted again and realized a familiar curly haired head was missing from the group. Luke peered over his shoulder back from where they had just came from. Maybe she was still back there.

He nudged Flynn on the shoulder to get her attention. “I’m going to head back to get Julie.” Before she could acknowledge or argue, he swiftly turned around to exit whatever conversation Alex and Carrie were having now, retracing his steps along the path to their previous spot.

Luke spotted her from a few yards away. She stood alone on the ledge in front of the waterfall, unmoving, absorbing the misty air. He stopped a couple feet short of where she was, taking the last few quiet steps towards her to avoid disrupting her peace. He set himself next to her, leaning on the rail. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw she turned to look at him briefly, before fixing her eyes forward again.

Minutes passed before her voice broke the silence between them. “It’s breath-taking, isn’t it?”

Luke looked between her and the scenery in front of him. Her head tilted up to take in the sunshine, chest pushed out as if magnetically pulled to the water, eyes closed and a smile on her face. She painted a beautiful, calming picture. “Yeah, it really is.” He wasn’t sure whether was talking about the nature or her.

They stayed there in a comfortable silence. Luke’s eyes followed the flow of the water, watching it pool at the bottom into the stream. It was calming to observe, the sound of the rushing water drowning out the voices of other tourists around them.

Julie’s movement beside him shook him out of his trance, bringing his eyes back to her. She looked around them briefly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Where is everyone else?”

“Oh, I think they went ahead on the trail.” He nodded his head towards the direction he came from. “I just came back once I realized you were missing.” He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks at his words. Did that sound as needy out loud as it did in his head?

Her mouth went slightly agape, before she closed it. “Oh. Thanks.”

He nodded, clearing his throat. “We should probably get going though and catch up with them.” He stepped to the side, gesturing forward to allow her to go first. She jokingly rolled her eyes at his politeness, something they were still slowly growing used to. Her eyes were focused on him as she stepped forward, meaning she didn’t notice the step in front of her as she stepped down from the ledge.

Luke tried to reach out to keep her from falling but was too late and watched her tumble. He immediately crouched to her, concern spreading on his face. “Jules, are you okay?”

She grimaced in pain, nodding unsurely. “Yeah, I think so. I didn’t realize there was a step.”

“Too busy looking at me, huh?” Luke joked, the instincts he had grown used to the past few years making an appearance at an opportune moment.

Julie scoffed, slapping him on his shoulder. “Shut up.” For a moment, things seemed more normal and less normal at the same time. Her look of annoyance dissolved as he feigned hurt from her hit. “Help me up?”

Without hesitation, Luke stood up and extended his hand, pulling her up with him. She placed her foot down on the ground slowly, easing a little bit of weight onto it and immediately wincing. Luke looked down, finally taking notice of her slightly swollen ankle. He took a sharp inhale through his teeth, clicking his tongue. “It might be a roll. We should get you some help to make sure though.”

Julie shook her head immediately. “No,” she whined. “I already missed the ruins yesterday, I don’t want to miss the rest of the hike too.” She pouted at him, hoping to shake down his resolve and convince him.

Luke sighed. Four years had passed and he still wasn’t immune to her pleading face. “I guess if it doesn’t hurt too bad, we can go find the group. But you shouldn’t be putting too much weight on it.” He pointed to her foot, which she was holding slightly above the ground, keeping her weight entirely on her good leg.

“What do I do then?” She pursed her lips in thought.

“I can carry you.” The words came out before he truly thought it through. His eyes widened in realization, mirroring her surprise. They were just starting to ease into a civil friendship. Wouldn’t giving a piggyback ride be skipping a few steps? Luke weighed the options in his mind. Sure, they had done this before, but it had been years ago. Before their fight, before the drama, and most importantly, before puberty.

(Luke was well aware that puberty had served Julie well. Hell, she was already the cutest girl in their grade beforehand. He had noticed some physical changes in her appearance back then, but barely paid it any attention. She was his best friend — those kinds of thoughts seemed forbidden.

However, after everything happened between them, it was like his fervent anger had awoken a different passionate feeling within him. Suddenly, she was a beautiful young woman who pushed his buttons way too frequently. It left him with many unresolved feelings. And if they were going to be in close proximity, Luke wasn’t sure how well he’d be able to handle it.)

But then what were the other options? They could wait it out and see if she’d be okay to walk, but in the case that it was a more serious injury, he had learned from his fair share of accidents that she needed to keep all weight off of it.

He could be mature about this, right?

Luke focused back to Julie in front of him, eyebrows raised as if to question the legitimacy of his offer. He straightened his posture, doubling down on his proposition. “C’mon, I’ll carry you back.” He turned and squatted slightly, quickly glancing back at her. “Hop on.” 

He didn’t hear her move for a moment. He was about to turn back to check on her again before suddenly, he felt her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to level herself behind him before she jumped on his back. He shifted her so she was at a comfortable position, his forearms wrapped around her legs, his fingers splayed under her thigh. This was the closest they had gotten in the past four years. Just a few days ago, being within a one-foot radius of Julie would make his teeth grind. This was uncharted territory.

The breath he took at that sensation seemed to alert Julie, whose arms were now wrapped around his neck. He felt her stiffen against him. “Are you sure this is okay? I can get down and just limp.”

Luke shook his head quickly. He tapped a finger on her leg once, twice. “You’re okay,” he reassured her. He lowered his voice more, “This is good.” Julie hummed in acknowledgement.

He walked towards the trail, coming to the fork he had reentered through to retrieve Julie a while ago. His eyes flicked left and right. He was pretty sure he had come from the right side, but given that both paths looked the same, he became a little unsure.

Julie tapped her fingers on his chest, interrupting his thoughts. “You don’t remember where they went, do you?”

The teasing tone in her voice immediately triggered his defensive comeback. “Yes I do. I’m just looking both ways before I cross, like a responsible pedestrian.”

He felt Julie’s body vibrate against his back, the sound of her giggling in his ear immediately sparking joy within him. “This is a trail, you dingus. We’re all pedestrians.”

Luke turned his head to look at Julie with an offended expression. “I think you have to be walking with your own feet to be considered a pedestrian,” he quipped lightly.

She swung her good leg as much as she could with him holding her up, kicking lightly at his thigh. “Shush.”

He watched her stick her tongue out at him, causing a chuckle to grumble from his chest. Suddenly, his mind registered how close their faces were in this position. If he turned his head just a little more, their noses would be touching. Julie seemed to notice their positioning at the same time, as he heard her take a quick inhale. His green eyes met her brown ones momentarily, the intensity of their stare breaking his stillness. Luke turned forward and swung his body to the right, hoping that this was the correct direction.

Luke walked carefully with Julie on his back and kept his eyes on the path in front of him to avoid any missteps. He would jump in place momentarily to make sure she wasn’t slipping down from his hold and she wordlessly adjusted, her arms staying wrapped around his neck.

“How far do you think they got?” Julie asked from behind.

Luke pursed his lips in thought. He didn’t think that he had stepped away from the group for too long, but they’d been walking for a few minutes and they were nowhere in sight. “They couldn’t have gotten too far. But I’m not sure how long we were away.”

“Sorry for taking so long. I didn’t mean for us to get separated from everyone.”

Luke could hear the tinge of guilt in her voice, leading him to immediately shake his head in disagreement. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t blame you for being so hypnotized, that view was amazing.” She hummed in agreement and he tried to throw a smile towards her, but a quick glance had him realize that her mind was somewhere else. When she didn’t speak up again, he continued on, wanting to fill the silence that would otherwise settle between them. “It was so calming, even though the noise is so loud. It’s like, chaotic and relaxing at the same time.”

He could feel Julie’s arm grow tense on his shoulders and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her staring at him in bewilderment. He peaked at her in confusion. “What? Did I say something?”

She was silent for a couple seconds. She blinked rapidly, bringing her focus back to the present. “No, nothing. You just, that’s what my mom said to me once.”

Luke’s heart dropped at the mention of Rose. She had been an influential figure in his forming years. His fight with Julie hadn’t changed that in the least bit. He lifted the corner of his lips in a soft smile. “About waterfalls?”

Julie let out a quiet chuckle. “Yeah. She also said it reminded her of me and Carlos.”

He pretended to ponder for a moment. “I could see that. You’re the chaotic one, right?”

“Haha, very funny,” Julie laughed dryly. She took a deep breath, her voice dropping to a much quieter tone. “She said she would take me to see a waterfall someday.”

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. Luke finally understood why she had been so enraptured by the waterfall. What he thought was just a simple, beautiful work of nature was much more significant to Julie. His heart ached for her and before he knew it, his feet slowed down and eventually brought them to a full stop. He turned his head so he could see her face fully, their eyes locking immediately. “I’m glad you came and got to see it.”

Julie’s eyes softened at his words, her lips spreading into a small grin. “Me too.” Their eyes remained focused on each other, the intimacy of the moment causing Luke’s heart to pick up speed.

“There you guys are!” Alex’s exasperated voice broke through their bubble, directing their attention to the rest of the group who stood a couple yards away. Luke didn’t miss Flynn’s amused look at the sight of them with Julie still on his back. It took him a moment to realize that everyone else in the group had a similar expression on their face. Luke smiled awkwardly at Julie, before walking forward and closing the distance between them and the group.

Willie, always the one to break the ice, was the first to take note of the situation. “What happened to you too? Get too lazy to walk, Molina?”

Julie laughed dryly at his joke. “Haha. But no, I might’ve rolled my ankle and Luke said that I shouldn’t put any weight on it so he just carried me along.”

Luke looked up from where he was shyly hiding his face, his eyes locking with Bobby and Reggie, the latter of whom was enthusiastically waggling his eyebrows. He narrowed his eyes, hoping to intimidate Reggie to stop, but it only seemed to spur him on more.

“That’s very nice of you, Patterson,” Flynn noted hesitantly. She eyed him over, as if to detect any threat from his actions. When her eyes landed on her best friend, her face immediately lightened up, her smile returning to its place. “Are you doing okay, J?”

Julie nodded. She tapped her finger on Luke’s shoulder. “You can let me down. I’m going to try walking on it for a little.”

Immediately, Luke could feel the desire to grip onto her legs tighter, to keep her safe on his back. Part of him wanted to say no, the same part that had been rattling off in his mind all day, telling him that maybe Reggie was right, maybe there was something between him and Julie, if the brief moment they had just shared was any indication.

But there was still so much unsaid between them that chasing this instinct could just put them back where they were before. Luke felt himself nodding and he crouched down to allow her to slip off his back and back onto the ground. She instinctively gripped his arm for stability, smiling shyly at him when she had realized what she had done, her cheeks turning a light pink. She set her foot down on the floor slowly to test placing weight on it.

Before she moved towards Flynn, Luke spoke. "Let me know if it hurts again, I'll carry you the way back."

Julie nodded at his offer, a bright smile painted on her face. "Of course. Thank you, my noble steed." She giggled and turned back towards Flynn, who was giving both of them a very entertained expression.

He watched her walk away as Reggie clapped his hand on Luke’s shoulder, shifting his attention to his friend. He could already feel the comments coming judging by the way Reggie was grinning so he held his hand up, shushing his friend. “I don’t want to hear it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forget how draining it is to write fluff sometimes, esp with incorporating some of the heavy stuff >.< i hope you still liked this one!
> 
> also s/o to courty for the lil ankle sprain/piggy back scenes in this chapter! wanted to incorporate a bit of a lost-in-the-jungle au without it seeming completely out of the ordinary so i hope this did it justice! :) 
> 
> there's still a few more chapters before the big drama ensues so stay tuned!!


	6. i never was ready so i watch you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with another update! i promise this episode is less sad vibes in comparison to the last one, it's really just filler (someone please stop me from writing 6k filler chapters?!?!) and some fluff heh. hope you enjoy this one!

_Luke could barely remember a time when him and his parents didn’t fight. Sure, up until middle school they had had a good relationship. Before then, Luke was young and impressionable and didn’t have a full understanding of life. Whatever they told him, he accepted as truth. It wasn’t that he was naive or sheltered, he just trusted his parents. Shouldn’t most kids be able to trust their parents their whole lives?_

_The moment Luke held a guitar in his hands, his life was forever changed. Music was something that had been a routine part of his life — his dad often played old school CDs on the home stereo system and his mom was a part of the church choir — but this was different. That itch he felt when listening to music, the tick he could feel when walking past a busker on the pier, it manifested itself when Luke played his guitar._

_Near the end of fifth grade, the middle school music teachers brought along instruments for the students to sample before they chose their instrument for band or orchestra. While Reggie was quick to latch onto the double bass and Alex had a history with percussion (his parents bought him a drum set as an outlet for his anxiety), Luke struggled to find something that fit him. He had originally thought that a brass instrument would suit him, the idea given to him by his parents. But he could barely get his embouchure correct to make anything but a squeak from any instrument._

_When facing the rest of his options, he immediately dismissed any orchestral instruments (the screeching of unprofessional violin players made him want to pull his ears off) and playing the clarinet or flute didn’t seem to be super boyish either. He was close to giving up and not joining the music program at all when the band teacher pulled him aside, asking if he would be willing to try one more instrument._

_When the instructor handed him the guitar, Luke felt instantly drawn to it. He hadn’t felt that with any of the instruments he was trying out. Luke looked up, slight confusion on his face. “Wait, I thought that guitar wasn’t an option. It’s not really in band or orchestra.”_

_The man nodded, smiling. “That’s true. But we do have a small jazz band program starting up and we are short on guitar players. It won’t be traditional jazz music all the time, we can play other genres too.”_

_And just like that, Luke was sold. The band teacher taught him four elementary chords, and when Luke finally strummed a cohesive chord, he couldn’t help but smile. It was like coming alive, like after years of barely breathing on the surface, his lungs were full and overfilling with air. He spent the next half hour playing the few chords he knew, working on his transitions in between them until they sounded smooth (at least in his opinion). It wasn’t until the band teacher interrupted his strumming that he realized the school day was now over and he had to gather his belongings to catch the bus soon._

_He scrambled his things into his backpack, swinging it over the shoulder. Before he ran out the door, he threw a “Thanks!” to the man, who smiled back fondly. Luke was so excited the whole bus ride home to tell his parents that he’d found his instrument, his legs didn’t stop shaking the entire time._

_Needless to say, his parents were less than thrilled._

_“We told you to try the trumpet or trombone! Those are very classic instruments, Lucas.” His mother scolded him as she continued to chop the vegetables for dinner._

_“But mom,” Luke whined. “I felt something when I tried the guitar. I didn’t feel anything with the other instruments, it’s like my body knows!” He had gone on to explain how he would be able to play in jazz band still, which seemed to appease his parents a little more._

_From then on, however, things just got worse._

_Luke’s passion for guitar-playing escalated beyond the jazz band assignments. Him, Alex, Reggie, and Bobby, who could play guitar but also shred on the viola, had come up with the idea to form a band, using the latter’s garage as a rehearsal space. Granted, they were only preteens so their songs weren’t great (To this day, Luke would still rank My Name is Luke as one of his best songs even though the lyrics and title were god-awful), but it was something they all cared about, something they could pour their heart and soul into._

_Julie and her family were also incredibly musical, Rose having had been in a band in her young adult years. Nearly every aspect of Luke’s life had music intertwined with it, except for his actual home. How ironic was that: the one place that he was supposed to be able to seek shelter, love, and care, was the one place that refused to offer acceptance for something that was part of who he was?_

_The arguments started near the end of sixth grade, around two months after Sunset Curve formed. No matter how they started, it always boiled down to Luke not knowing what was important in life. He could hear his parents voice in his head at night, taunting him._ Music will never be a solid career choice. It won’t pay the bills. It’s just a hobby. _Every passing day they argued, Luke only grew more determined to prove them wrong._

_The fighting had become so routine that Luke just stopped interacting with his parents at all. Any conversation, even small talk, still found its way to the same argument. So Luke took solace in other places, going to people that breathed music the same way his body ached for it._

_The Molinas._

_Going over to hang out with Julie wasn’t out of the ordinary for Luke. He was already a routine visitor, sometimes even bringing along Alex or Reggie if they were already together prior. So weekly visits became bi-weekly visits became daily visits where Luke would just tag along with Julie on the way home from school. In hopes to not seem too clingy, he first played it off as needing help with english, math, or biology homework. When he began to feel more welcome there than in his own home, he dropped the facade. There was no use in lying to people who greeted him with open arms._

_He was never picky about what they would do — having Molina support was more than enough. If Julie wanted to do work, he’d (pretend to) study alongside her. If she wanted to work on a crafts project, he’d work in the free corner of her desk to create something that would make her smile. If she wanted to try out some new songs her mom and her had worked on, he’d happily strum the chords along to her voice. If Julie wanted to spend the afternoon journaling, he’d shut up and play on his phone._

_Even on days when Julie had dance practice or was writing with Rose, he’d still come over. He found a friend in Ray, who loved that Luke would listen to all the photography stories he had, and Carlos, who, for a kid who was a few years younger, was insanely good at video games._

_Asking to stay for dinner became an assumption. His parents had raised him well-mannered enough for him to wordlessly help out around the house too. Washing dishes, setting up the table, sweeping the floor, anything to make sure he stayed in good graces with them._

_Luke was crushed when Rose received her diagnosis. Beyond the fact that she had become a second mom to him, it hurt even more to see his best friend go through the pain of it all firsthand. He kept his distance for a few weeks, wanting to give the family their space to process everything._

_He spent one night at home, but after an argument with his dad, forwent his own bedroom for Reggie’s, Alex’s, or Bobby’s. Luke itched to go back to Julie’s, wanting to help out in whatever way he could, yearning to provide support and love the same way they had done to him. It was also growing more and more difficult to ignore the pull he felt to a specific Molina._

_Luke eventually made his way back to the gray stone house, though it didn’t shine as bright as it used to. He willingly took on the role of the distractor, consuming hours of movies and video games with Carlos to prevent him from further grasping the reality of the situation. He passed time with Julie in her room. They would try to spend time doing homework or trying out songs like they used to, but more often than not it would end up with him holding her as she cried. There was no distracting her from the truth._

_As he grew closer to one family, he could feel the distance growing between him and his own parents. He used to be scolded for returning home late, his mother waiting for him in the dimly lit kitchen. Eventually, he came home to a dark house, his parents already retired to their bed._

_His adolescent mind paid little attention to the disintegrating relationship he had with his parents, focused solely on the positive reinforcement he felt every time he walked through the threshold of the Molina’s home. Every time Ray patted him on the back for a good grade or Rose cheered him on for a perfect lyric, it only reminded him of the rejection he faced back home. What started as a way to find solace grew into a routine grew into a way to stay angry at his parents. So his stubbornness had cost him his parent’s love. He just never thought that it would also cause him to lose his best friend too._

* * *

When Julie agreed to come on this spring break trip, she envisioned a week full of unforgettable experiences with her friends. It would be something she could look back to for the years to come; she could envision her and Flynn sitting in a cafe, years later, reminiscing and asking, “Remember when?”

Never in a million years did she expect she would be spending a week that was supposed contain some of the best moments of her high school career with Luke Patterson. Add on top of that, the fact that they were actually becoming friendly with each other? Color her surprised.

Julie hummed, basking in the warmth of the sun as she laid on top of her beach towel. Today was meant to be a quieter day with a looser schedule, the only activity planned was jet skiing at the booth further down the boardwalk. There was still some time to kill, so the girls had agreed to sunbathe for a bit.

With her eyes closed, her mind continued to recall the events from yesterday. From the magnetic pull she felt at the waterfall, to her clumsy fall that caused her to roll her ankle (which was thankfully feeling a lot better now), to how she felt when Luke helped her on the way back. It had been such a simple gesture for him to carry her but something about being so close to him for the first time in years without the urge to punch him was a foreign feeling.

She hadn’t expected to tell him about her mom and the waterfall. But he had been there when everything had happened. He helped her accept when she was confused, relax when she was angry, and smile when she was devastated beyond repair. She knew she was lucky to have him as friend during such a dark time, even if he did end up leaving her side in the end.

But at that moment, she knew he’d understand. He had witnessed firsthand how much she loved her mom to her very last day on Earth and it was evident in his eyes when they looked at each other, her arms wrapped around his neck, his arms holding her legs, that he felt for her. For a split second, she was convinced that she saw the old Luke in the sea of green. She was thankful that Alex had called them away at the moment. It was dangerous to get lost in his eyes, something she had fallen privy to too many times in the past.

And then Flynn questioned her nonstop about it when they got back to their room, demanding every detail about their stolen moments away from the group. She tried to make it as dry as possible, giving the bare minimum version of what had transpired between them. She made a conscious effort to leave out the way he looked at her, even if it was for a split second, and the way that her heart picked up speed just for a moment.

Her eyes slowly blinked open behind her sunglasses to adjust to the change of brightness. Julie perched up on her arms, looking around to see Kayla, Carrie, and Flynn still enjoying the warm Mexican sun. She was about to put her head down when she heard some screaming a couple yards away and lifted her sunglasses so she could better examine what was going on.

About ten towels over, she could make out Luke’s figure running around the sand with a small kid. In their near vicinity was an impressive sandcastle, built a few stories high. They seemed to be looking around for things to adorn the building, coming back every few seconds with a shell to press into the walls of the castle as decoration.

She watched from afar a wave was crashing towards the shore, causing the little boy to freak out. In an effort to prevent damage to the castle, Luke laid on his side in front of the castle, using his body as a shield. She could see the water splashing against him, completely drenching his front. The sight of the boy clapping in celebration indicated that he had successfully body-blocked the castle from its ruin.

It reminded her of old Luke. He would come over to the Molina household on such a frequent basis that a dinner plate would be set out for him. Even on days when she wasn’t home or was busy, he’d come and hang out with Carlos instead, entertaining the two of them with a new video game or finding some movies to watch together. No one batted an eye that he had somehow made his way into their family.

The sound of his laughter from a distance brought her back into her house, the familiar scene of her baking with her mother as Luke and Carlos played on the PlayStation just a room over. A smile found its way across her lips at the fond memory. It seemed like the more she and Luke became friendly, the more good memories she could recall.

_“Earth to Julie!”_

Julie’s eyes snapped back to the voice calling her name to see Carrie, Flynn, and Kayla staring at her. “Sorry.”

Carrie smirked, standing up and brushing sand from her body. “Stop daydreaming and get ready. We gotta get going.”

Julie couldn’t help the blush that tinged her cheeks, knowing she’d been caught staring in his direction. She kept her head down as she packed her towel into her bag, slipped on her cover-up over her two-piece, and willed the blood to recede from her face.

They eventually made their way over to the booth just a short walk down the boardwalk. It only took a few minutes for everyone to appear on time. Julie assumed it was because the memory of Carrie’s wrath when Alex and Willie showed up late to their nature hike yesterday was still fresh in everyone’s minds.

The instructor introduced himself to the group shortly thereafter, leading them to the beach with an enthusiastic attitude that mirrored Reggie’s after a sugar rush. He clapped his hands together, gathering the attention of the group. “Alright, welcome everyone! My name is Daniel, I’ll be your jet ski instructor today. I see we have been signed up for the two-person PWCs today so let’s get started! How many of you have been jet skiing before?”

Julie looked around the group to note the five hands that shot in the air: Willie, Kayla, Bobby, Nick, and Luke. She focused forward again at the sound of the instructor’s voice.

“Perfect. Let’s get everyone paired up for the jet skis. Newbies should pair up with our vets. When you and your partner are ready, come head to the shed where we’ll get you suited up and ready to go!” He gave a quick thumbs up before jogging to the aforementioned shed.

The moment he left, she watched some of the obvious pairs form. Alex and Willie immediately interlocked fingers and Carrie clung onto Nick’s arm, leaving the remaining six to figure out the pairings.

Flynn looked between her remaining three options. “Dibs on Kayla,” she spoke quickly, linking arms with Kayla. The two of them turned to head towards the other pairs down by the shed, giggling.

“Flynn!” Julie shouted after her, to which Flynn only mouthed what looked like an insincere “sorry” back. She grunted and turned back to face the remaining guys. “So,” she trailed off.

She watched as Reggie and Bobby exchanged smirks before throwing their arms around each other’s shoulders and scurrying away, leaving Luke and her alone. He looked at her sheepishly, a small smile on his face. “Guess I’m your caretaker again.”

Julie couldn’t help but chuckle dryly at his joke and brought her arm out to shove him playfully. They started in the direction of the shed to rejoin the group, most of whom were in their life jackets and sitting on the skis. The two of them buckled their life jackets before finding the last jet ski.

Luke motioned for her to get on first. “You can drive if you want, assuming you won’t kill me on purpose.”

Julie pretended to think about it before taking him up on his offer, settling into the seat behind the handlebars. She felt him settle behind her, the sheer heat of his body suddenly making her nervous. She hadn’t anticipated that they would be this close. One look at the way Carrie was holding onto Nick and Alex’s arms were wrapped around Willie on their skis made Julie’s heart quicken.

She closed her eyes once she felt his arms surround her, waiting for him to hold on. When she didn’t feel him, she opened her eyes in confusion, only to see his hands hovering over her life jacket close to her waist.

“Is this okay?” Luke asked softly behind her, sending a shiver down her spine.

Julie nodded wordlessly, not trusting her voice. His grabbed onto her waist hesitantly, before moving his hands forward to rest flat on the front of her life jacket on her stomach. Julie let out a shaky breath, trying to maintain her calmness at their close proximity.

This wasn’t too different than what happened yesterday when he had carried her. The roles were just reversed. And if Luke could be as chill as he was, she could do it too.

She grasped the handles in front of her, rotating her attention to focus on the instructor, who was explaining the different controls, giving them rules about how far they could travel, and emphasizing the safety protocols to follow if anything went wrong while riding. Once he gave a thumbs up, the sound of multiple engines started. Julie followed suit and turned on the ignition, bringing the vehicle to life beneath her.

Julie watched as one by one, the skis left the area to cruise away from the shoreline. She waited until it was safe to press down on the throttle, the jet ski moving forward slowly in the same direction as her friends. Once they were far enough away from the shore, she put more pressure on her foot to accelerate.

Soon enough, they were riding fast, the wind blowing in her face. She laughed in shock, thrilled that as scary as it was, she was doing well and having fun. The sound of Luke laughing behind her only spurred her on. Something about his enjoyment made her feel more confident.

“You’re doing great! Are you sure this is your first time?” Luke shouted over the loud engine and crashing waves.

Julie only nodded and smiled in response, keeping her eyes focused on the path in front of her. She could see some of her friends in the distance and she yearned to catch up. She placed more pressure on the throttle to increase speed, the engine roaring to keep up with the new velocity.

As they sped up, she could feel Luke’s arms wrap tighter around her in an effort to hold on, the sudden contact causing her brain to short-circuit momentarily. Her hand knocked off the handle as she faltered for a second, but the slightest movement had caused the jet ski to turn at an angle that was too sharp for their current speed. She lifted her foot from the throttle in a last-ditch effort to prevent the inevitable, though it was to no avail.

“Wait!”

She heard Luke yell just as the jet ski tipped in the direction she was turning, sliding both her and Luke into the water. She took a huge inhale of air when she broke the surface of the water, turning herself around to find where her passenger went.

She saw the shaggy, wet mop of his hair pop up and let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. They both swam to the jet ski that sat idly in its place as if nothing had happened.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think we were going to fall,” she apologized profusely, though it didn’t seem like he had heard her over his laughter. She scrunched her eyebrows. “Why are you laughing?”

“‘Cause it was funny, Jules,” he spoke out in between breaths, a glimmer in his eyes. When he realized she wasn’t laughing alongside him and instead was wading in the water with a concerned look, he relaxed his smile, grabbing her arm. “It’s okay. People fall all the time and we’re both unharmed, right?” At her nod, he smiled again. “Then it’s all good. You ready to get back at it?”

Julie looked at him unsurely. She brought one arm up to hold her other. “Maybe it’s better if you drive the rest of the time?”

Luke sent her a nod, having understood her discomfort. “No worries. I’ll get up and pull you up, okay?” He lifted himself up from the ski’s rear, sitting backward so he could help Julie onto the vehicle again. Once they were comfortably in their switched positions, Luke put the safety lanyard back in its place from where it had fallen off with them. He turned on the ignition, bringing the engine to life again.

Julie sat behind Luke, the guilt of their small accident dissipating. She was thankful that neither one of them were hurt. She wouldn’t know how she would deal with causing him any physical harm. She scooted forward in her seat, wrapping her arms around Luke’s middle without a word, as he began to accelerate again. Even though her seat was positioned higher behind his, she still couldn’t see much in front of them. Julie rested her head on his right shoulder to settle into a more comfortable position and so she could see better.

They rode across the waters, their bodies rising and falling as the waves bobbed around them. Luke, having had more experience, was able to do small, safe jumps over a few waves and maneuver his way to ride side-by-side to Reggie and Bobby.

Eventually, they made their back to the shoreline, bringing the speed down to a slow cruise until they could safely park by the docks they had departed from. Luke offered his arm to help Julie from the vehicle to the dock. She took his hand and pulled herself up, almost losing her balance in the process. With his fast reflexes, Luke caught her and straightened her up again, making a small joke about her clumsiness.

Everyone was buzzing with adrenaline after their rides. Julie and Flynn were bouncing back together to the resort along with the group, though Julie’s mind wasn’t completely present in the conversation Flynn was having with her, talking animatedly about her and Kayla’s experience on the water as well as her excitement at the revelation of Kayla’s small crush on a familiar brunette bass player.

While jet skis and relationships were clouding Julie’s brain, it was nowhere near the same ballpark that Flynn was in. Events from the whole day played back in her mind: Luke and that kid playing on the beach had brought back so many memories of him and Carlos. She had forgotten how taken Carlos had been by Luke’s older-brother charm. When they had stopped being friends, Carlos lost essentially lost both his older siblings.

She also couldn’t help but think that Reggie and Bobby had purposely left her and Luke to partner up for the jet skis, like they knew something that she didn’t. The look they shared before running off reminded her vaguely of the looks she’d catch Flynn and Carrie exchanging when her and Luke would fight in homeroom. It stroke a resemblance to the same face her and Flynn would share jokingly when Alex and Willie were being too lovey-dovey in public. Did that mean…

No, it definitely didn’t. Her and Luke’s bantering was in no way a sign of repressed, unresolved feelings, right?

It wasn’t until they got back into their room that Julie realized Flynn had stopped talking to her altogether, instead sending her a mixed look of disapproval and satisfaction. Julie blinked at her best friend. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Flynn scoffed. “Oh please, don’t even start with me. Your mind has been elsewhere all day.” She threw herself onto her bed, propping herself up to catch Julie’s eye in a wink. “This doesn't have to do with a certain rockstar wannabe, does it?”

“Wh-what? No!” Julie sputtered, her cheeks already flushing pink. She hated that Flynn could read her so easily.

Flynn rolled her eyes at her, reaching down to take off her shoes and stretch out her legs. “Can’t spell ‘Julie’ without ‘lie,’” Flynn teased. It had been her favorite thing to say every time she was calling her best friend out.

“It’s not like that! You know we’re barely even friends,” Julie huffed, throwing her shoes to the side so she could mount her own bed.

“So then what’s got you so in your head, hm?” Flynn challenged from where she laid, her head turned to face her best friend across the room.

Julie sat down on her bed, hugging her legs to her chest. It was a nervous habit of hers. “Being friends with him is weird. I never thought that it would be so easy and comfortable.” She looked down at her hands. “Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happened, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.”

Flynn’s blunt words stung Julie, though she was sure that her friend hadn’t meant it that way. It killed her that she couldn’t tell Flynn about what happened, not without hurting her own best friend in the process.

A minute passed. “Do you want the truth?”

Julie’s unsure eyes locked onto Flynn’s, who was laying still on the bed. “Yeah.”

Flynn sat up on the edge of the bed, consuming a serious posture. “Look, J, I’ve known you for a long time. I know that you think scary movies are stupid but you watch them for the thrill factor. I know that you think peanut butter and jellies are better with raspberry jelly over grape. I have a coherent list of guys that you have had a crush on since the day we met.” At the sound of Julie’s chuckling, Flynn paused to move to Julie’s bed, reaching over to grab Julie’s hands in hers. Her voice shrank to a quieter tone. “I know that when your mom died, you tried to be the strongest. You took on a lot, and you broke, and you shut people out. I don’t know what happened between you and Luke that day — and I’m not asking you to tell me — but you never chose to shut him out completely. You didn’t change friend groups, didn’t ask us to choose sides — though you know damn well I’m on yours — and you didn’t ask him to leave you alone for good. You kept him at a distance. Did you ever think about why?”

Julie shook her head. The possibilities that came to mind scared her too much to voice aloud.

“Some part of you needs Luke in your life. Whether that’s as an enemy, a friend, or more than that, that’s up to you to decide.” Flynn offered an encouraging smile and leaned back, swinging their arms playfully to lift the room’s spirits. “Maybe you’re now realizing that you want to be friends with him. That’s totally fine.” She stood up, letting Julie’s arms fall limp to her side, and walked across the room to her luggage to dig up her change of clothes for dinner. Flynn turned back to face Julie, smirking. “But the way you were staring at his shirtless bod today? _And_ holding on tight to him on that jet ski? I wouldn’t blame you if you felt anything more,” she teased, heading to the bathroom with her change of clothes and sending another wink Julie’s way.

Julie laughed at her friend’s expressions and implications, shaking her head to herself. Maybe Flynn was right — being friends with Luke had proved to be a much easier feat than she had previously thought. Maybe it was easier to forgive and forget, to release all the pent-up anger she had felt over the years. Holding on to it hadn’t done much to improve their situation.

She heard the shower turn on, signaling she had to wait at least twenty minutes before her turn. The memories she recollected earlier of life at home made her heart ache. Her fingers tapped on the screen quickly and before she knew it, she was staring at her dad’s smiling face through the screen.

“Hey! Mija, how are you doing?”

Julie smiled, her body immediately relaxing at the sight of her family. “I’m good. I just was missing you and Carlos, wanted to call and see how you guys are doing all by yourselves at home.”

Ray’s bright smile made it obvious that the feeling was mutual. “We’re doing well. Tía came over today and brought some of her enchiladas.”

“Ooh, any chance you’ll save some for when I get back?” Julie’s stomach instinctively grumbled at the sound of her aunt’s famous dish.

Ray shrugged with his free arm. “I would try but I think Carlos might be a little more selfish than me.”

Julie laughed. Her brother had been growing so much the past year, he was almost the same height of her. She would rue the day that she became the shorter older sister.

“How has your trip been? Any highlights so far?”

She began running through all the different activities they had participated in, including today’s adventures, though she didn’t mention her fall into the water. “I saw a waterfall yesterday too.” Julie paused, watching as her dad’s eyes soften on screen when he understood the reference. “It was everything she said it would be. It just really made her miss her, you know?” She forced a smile, though she could already feel the tears forming.

Her father’s voice was gentle and smooth. “Of course. I miss her every day.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, not wanting to turn this call home to a sob fest between her father and her. (They had had plenty of those over the years.) With her mind still pondering the recent events, she found herself asking him a question. “How did you know mom was the one?”

There was a brief look of surprise on Ray’s face at the sudden change of topic before he relaxed. He stared a bit past the camera, as if he was looking off into the distance. After a few moments, he spoke. “I think some part of me always knew, but I didn’t actually realize it until a little later. She was playing some gigs for her band with the Petal Pushers, she was getting ready for an insane life. She sat me down and talked to me about it, laid all of it in front of me. She wanted an extravagant lifestyle: gigs, tours, fans, everything. Which meant a long distance relationship for us.” Julie watched as her dad moved to the couch in their living room to sit down. “We had been together for only a few months at that point, but she was a star, mija. I had no doubt that she would change the world. I thought that was it.”

Julie’s heart melted. The way her dad spoke about her mom was the kind of language you find in fairytales. That was the kind of love she had been chasing after as a kid.

“And then their tour got cut short and as strong as she tried to be, I knew it crushed her. They could never pick up where they left off and eventually they accepted it. They had their dream of stardom, as short-lived as it was. After all of that, when we went on our first date in months, I knew. I didn’t have faith that she would change the world just because she was going to be a star, but because of who she was. Rockstar or not, she was always going to be Rose. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.” Ray smiled at his daughter through the screen, his own eyes glistening with restrained tears.

Julie couldn’t help the multiple tears that streamed down her face this time, but she made no move to wipe them. Crying with her dad had always been strangely comforting. She blinked away the tears that had blurred her vision to see her dad on the phone screen, wiping away at his own. Julie laughed, she certainly hadn’t expected a quick phone call home to make her cry.

Ray chuckled in video, clearing his throat to speak again. “Why do you ask? You meet a cute boy in Mexico?”

Julie immediately reacted with a face of horror, shaking her head adamantly back and forth in disagreement. “No, nothing like that, Dad. I just like hearing about you and mom. Makes me feel like she’s here with me.”

He smiled back, any trace of humor gone. “She’s always with you, Julie. She’s always with all of us.”

She nodded in agreement. Did that mean her mom could send her signs with how to deal with whatever was going on between her and Luke? Though she could imagine what her mom would say in this situation, it was the same thing she said whenever any of them became overwhelmed. Inhala, exhala. Did she know that didn’t work for everything?

Julie’s train of thought was broken by the sound of the hair dryer in the bathroom, indicating that Flynn was almost done and on her way out. She smiled apologetically. “I think Flynn’s finishing up so I’m going to shower before we head to dinner. It was really nice talking to you, Papi.”

Ray grinned, always the source of joy in any room. “Of course. Call me anytime, Julie. I love you.”

“Love you too, Dad. Bye.” Her finger hit the red button and his face went away. Her reflection stared back at her FaceTime app. She wiped away any remaining tears and streaks on her face, patting her cheeks to recolor them again. She checked the time, taking note that they only had around 45 minutes before they had to meet with the rest of the group for their dinner reservation and making quick moves to grab her necessities from her luggage for her shower.

As she rinsed her body of the ocean’s saltiness and lathered on her vanilla scented soap in its place, both Flynn’s words and her dad’s story swirled in her head. 

For the past four years, she was so sure that she despised Luke Patterson. The mere sight of him made her blood boil, a dull reminder of his betrayal. But maybe she had conditioned herself to loathe him from a distance, never crossing the line that would push him completely out of her life.

The thought of her subconsciously wanting him in her life, someway and somehow, terrified her. She had always wanted a love story like her parents, one that could be spoken about long after their lives ended, a saga passed down through generations. Never did she even stop to consider that hers could have started the moment she walked into her very first day of school all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> julie is so thinky thinky in this chapter it hurts my own head LOL but finally the seeds are planted and its time for this love to BLOSSOM
> 
> also you may have noticed that i updated the total chapter count to 11 - i spent some time planning the next few chapters and changing a few things around from what i originally had, and added another for an epilogue too. the next three are going to be heavier with plot for sure so they might take a little longer to get out because i want to make sure they're well written for you all <3 thanks for sticking around :)


	7. wait for the signal and i'll meet you after dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another day, another 7k chapter
> 
> my sincerest apologies for how long this one took to get out. i struggled a lot with this chapter, going back and forth of whether i wanted to break it down into multiple mini chapters but then ultimately deciding "fuck it" and posting the hot mess that is this chapter 
> 
> hope you enjoy it tho! :)

_Julie looked at herself in the mirror, tugging at the frilly pink dress her aunt had squeezed her into for today’s ceremony. She sighed and smoothed her hands down the front to try and flatten the fabric, but it only sprung back into its shape. She shoved her hands in the dress’s pockets, trying to pose to make herself look a little more presentable, but the frills weren’t flattering from any angle. Julie peered out her window that looked over the backyard and studio, adorn with a few rows of chairs, decorations, and a wood arbor._

_Tía Victoria and her then longtime boyfriend Richard had gotten engaged a few months ago, back before Rose’s diagnosis. The couple had surprised the family with a quick engagement, ensuring that Rose could bear witness to her sister’s wedding._

_The weeks leading up to today had been scheduled full with cake tastings, decoration making, dress shopping, and all other sorts of planning. No venues had any availability given the quick turnaround, but out of convenience and necessity, they had gotten Ray and Rose’s blessing to host the event in the Molina’s backyard. The entrance of the studio made for the perfect altar, the space outside the studio for the guests._

_Julie took charge of the decorations, happy that she was able to use her creative outlet to design a lovely backdrop to fit her aunt’s expectations. With the help of all her friends, Carlos, and Ray, and long, long hours, they were able to make all of her ideas come to fruition._

_They had spent most of last night hanging up some preliminary decorations to avoid any rushing on the day of. The sheets decorated with glitter and paper flowers that hung from the studio ceiling and fairy lights strewn across the backyard bushes took a longer time than anticipated, so Julie was glad that they had gotten it done already. This morning, the remaining decor was set into place — the vines sewn through the arbor, the glass ornaments hung from tree branches, and the flower path to the altar._

_From her bedroom, she could see part of the studio entrance. The sun shined through the fabric of the hanging sheets, painting the walls a beautiful lilac. She was excited for when the sun would set and the lights would turn on, illuminating their backyard in an iridescent glow. It had looked so good last night, she was excited to see her aunt’s reaction to it._

_A knock on the door startled Julie out of her trance. She turned her head in time to see the door open, a familiar face peeking in and grinning dopily. She smiled and waved him in, turning to face away from the window._

_Luke shuffled in quietly, knowing that it was growing more and more chaotic outside with every passing minute. He closed the door as softly as he could, his eyes peeking out the door to make sure no one could see them. Julie’s eyes raked over his body, taking in the rare sight of Luke with covered arms, much less dressed formally. “Nice sleeves,” she quipped._

_At her remark, Luke turned and stood straight in his suit. She saw his eyes widen in surprise before quickly biting his lip in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Julie narrowed her eyes at him challengingly. “Don’t you dare.”_

_Luke nodded mutely, a devilish smile escaping onto his features. “I’m sorry.” He took a few steps forward, his eyes scanning her outfit. “You look like a loofah.” Julie swatted his arm in offense. He held his arm, laughing. “A beautiful loofah. The best loofah out there.”_

_Julie scrunched her nose in disgust, hitting him again. “Don’t be weird.”_

_Luke only laughed harder. He took a few moments to calm down, before staring at her sweetly. “You do look nice though, Jules.”_

_Julie could feel the heat rise to her cheeks, so she ducked her head to hide from him. “Thanks,” she mumbled, tucking a loose strand behind her ear before looking up at him again. “You clean up well too.”_

_It was Luke’s turn to blush, though he made no effort to cover his fluster. He walked over and laid down on her bed, his legs hanging off the edge. He patted the spot next to him for Julie to join. She rested next to him, their heads side by side with their bodies facing opposite directions._

_A comfortable silence settled between them, but Julie could hear the thumping of her heart. She clenched her fists and took a few deep breaths, willing her body to relax. The consistent beat slowly faded away, the sound of the both of them breathing filling her ears instead. This precious time they had to rest was definitely a commodity to have for today’s schedule, but her restless mind wandered to the boy right next to her._

_Ever since they got to middle school, Julie realized that not a lot of girls in her grade had close guy friends like she did. She had heard endless rumors of whether her and Luke were dating, to which she usually responded with a disgusted look, claiming that they were just friends._

_But somewhere between sixth and seventh grade, that line became a little blurry._

_It wasn’t like in the movies, where the guy character has a major glow-up that leaves the girl swooning. Luke looked the same — shaggy haircut, sleeveless shirts, puppy eyes and all —minus a few acne breakouts here and there. In fact, she was well aware of the small crush she had had on him since around the fourth or fifth grade, but that had always been a dull feeling she put on the back burner. It had never amounted to anything and she didn’t particularly care to act on it._

_And then one day, Luke went from being her best friend that she had a minor crush on to her best friend that she was suddenly having full-fledged feelings for._

_(They had just finished eating out of a shared tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream before deciding to rewatch Up to pass time. Luke grabbed at her legs, swinging them over his lap so that she was nestled into his side. The position was new for them; they usually just sat next to each other, their sides huddled tight under the blanket. Julie could feel herself blush at the closeness of the position but didn’t allow herself to think anything of it, especially since Luke continued to queue up the movie without any reaction._

_With her body facing him, she rested her head on his shoulder so she could still see the movie. Luke had preemptively handed her a tissue at the beginning of the montage scene, knowing that it always made her tear up. That had been the first flutter of butterflies. Julie pushed it down, misconceiving it as the ice cream disagreeing with the pizza they had eaten for lunch._

_An hour into the movie, Julie could feel Luke’s hand on her back. He rubbed his thumb absentmindedly. She could feel her heart speed up at the contact, leaving goosebumps all over her skin and causing her to shiver. Luke darted his eyes at her at the sudden movement to which Julie just shook her head in dismissal, resuming her position from before. The feeling of him rubbing at her back became dull as her body adjusted to it._

_It was only inevitable that the soothing feeling of his hands would push her to sleep. She hadn’t even realized she had dozed off until her eyes blinked open, the feeling of his hands in her hair replacing the feeling on her back from before. Julie looked up at him through her eyelashes, though he didn’t seem to notice as he continued to play with her curls as he watched the events of the movie unfold. The sight of him, letting out a steady breath as he distractedly continued to carefully weave his fingers through her hair, was the selling point. Three strikes, she was out.)_

_Since that day, those feelings had not gone away, unlike the first time. Every look he threw her way caused the butterflies in her stomach to stir up a commotion. Every time he was within arm’s reach she could feel her heart speed up its palpitations. She found herself staring at him when he wasn’t looking, turning away and blushing when he would notice. As her mom had put it, she had it bad._

_But this was the last thing she wanted. Her and Luke had always been inseparable and every time she felt her heart skip a beat, she was reminded of the possibility of it ruining their friendship. There was no Julie without Luke and there was no Luke without Julie, that much she knew of._

_“Shh,” Luke whispered. Julie turned her head to look at him but his eyes were still closed. She admired the peaceful look on his face. “I can hear you thinking from over here.” He opened one eye to look at her._

_Before she could provide a rebuttal, Emily’s voice was heard from the hallway outside. “Julie, Luke! Are you both up there still? Guests are arriving!”_

_Luke groaned from his position while Julie stood, swinging around the bed to offer him a hand to pull himself up. She ignored the feeling of their fingers intertwined, something that the two of them had done since they were kids. In order to prevent herself from staring too long at their joined hands, she tugged him out of the room and to the staircase, eager to get the show on the road._

_**_

_The ceremony was absolutely beautiful._

_Richard’s brother, acting as his best man, accompanied Julie down the aisle. From her spot at the front, she watched as first Richard walked in with his parents, then Richard’s niece wander down while throwing handfuls of rose petals, and then Victoria, holding hands with Rose. The sight immediately sent tears down Julie’s cheeks. The two strongest women she knew, looking stunning, walking towards the altar to meet Richard, where Rose gave her little sister away._

_From where she stood just a few feet from Richard, she could see the tears well up in his eyes at the sight of Victoria. Julie’s heart swelled, always a sucker for love. It reminded her of the way she would sometimes catch her dad looking at Rose — as if the scarf wrapped around her head to keep her warm was as beautiful as her luscious curls, her frail limbs only enhancing her true strength. She was beyond ecstatic that her aunt had found the same thing for herself._

_Julie looked out into the crowd, her eyes quickly finding Luke’s. She sent him a small smile that he returned. Something about the way he looked at her, even though they only held contact for a brief moment, made her forget the awful dress she had been wearing. She didn’t even notice that his eyes remained focused on her for the remainder of the ceremony._

_After the officiant recited his part, Tía started the vows. She wasn’t one to express her emotions often, usually letting her sass dictate her behavior. Seeing her be vulnerable and open up about the relationship and moments her and Richard shared was touching, bringing tears to Julie’s eyes as she peered from her position behind her aunt. A quick glance to the front row let her know that she wasn’t the only one in this sentiment. Both her parents were wiping away at their faces, bright smiles on their faces._

_Richard’s vows were just as heartwarming. He had basically been considered a part of the family for a few years now, and his nod towards each person of the Molina clan cemented his spot in their family even further. Julie was sure that nothing would change much after today, she had been calling him Tío for a while now._

_(The first time she had done it was a slip of the tongue, but the way he stared at her with watery eyes and a radiant smile only urged her to do it again with more confidence.)_

_Everyone whooped and cheered at the kiss that sealed the deal, the couple making their way down the aisle back towards the house for the first time as husband and wife. The wedding party followed after, leaving the guests to mingle in the backyard as they prepped for the reception._ _Changing the scenery only required a few extra hands, setting up tables and chairs towards the edge of the backyard, making space for a dance floor in the center._

_Julie and Luke sat next to each other at a table with both their parents and Carlos, who seemed to be more interested in his phone than the actual celebration itself. While Rose conversed with Emily and Mitch, Julie and Luke continued in their own little world, huddled over a pile of crinkled napkins that they were using to play hangman._

_Inspired by the day’s events, Julie kept choosing relevant words: first “bouquet,” then “reception,” and then “tuxedo.” Luke, the ever crazed boy he was, made Julie’s job a lot harder, going for words like “jigsaw” and “shark tank.”_

_Julie stared intently at the figure in front of her. Her poor dude was an eye away from dying and there were still four blanks for her to guess. She racked her brain for possible answers. “This is impossible,” she whined._

_Luke bit his lip as he grinned, shaking his head. “No it’s not! Come on, Jules. It’s not that hard.”_

_“I haven’t gotten any of your words right!” She argued, sending him a glare._

_He only laughed in response, nudging her shoulder. “Just guess, come on.”_

_“Fine,” she groaned. Julie took another look and thought. “C?”_

_Luke smirked. “Nice try, but you’re dead.” He filled in the remaining spaces and showed her the napkin, her eyes bulging out at the completed prompt. “And the king of hangman reigns again!”_

_“‘Key fob?’ Are you kidding me? How was I supposed to even guess that?” Julie huffed and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms in frustration._

_He leaned forward towards her, placing a hand on her arm to console her. “If it makes you feel better, Reggie used it on me once and I didn’t get it.”_

_“No one ever beats Reggie in hangman, Luke.”_

_“Fair.”_

_Julie rolled her eyes mockingly, before sitting at the edge of her seat with a renewed energy. “Okay, my turn.” She snatched a napkin from their pile and the pen, leaning back to hide the napkin from his sight._

_Julie drew the hook and base of the figure, the pen in her hand levitating over the napkin as she tried to come up with a hard prompt. But her mind only continued to come up with wedding-related things. She knew she couldn’t look around for ideas, otherwise it would make it too obvious for him to guess._

_And maybe it was the atmosphere they were in, or the way she felt her heart jump when she looked at him as he was animatedly playing with Carlos while he waited for her, but she scribbled down the blanks without a second thought. She placed the napkin on her lap so Luke could see it, watching as his eyes scanned the puzzle._

_“Five words?! What happened to simple phrases?” He looked at her, astonished._

_Julie challenged him with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, is Mr. King of Hangman going to give up already?”_

_Luke scoffed in response. “No way. Besides, there are two single letter words. That makes it easier for me. I, please.”_

_She rolled her eyes affectionately and drew the three I’s where they belonged without second thought. When she finished, the magnitude of the situation hit her. Her breath quickened, looking at the puzzle in its partial completion. Was this a good idea? She began to doubt herself._

_“Julie?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“I asked for an O.”_

_“Oh, right.” Julie glanced at the empty spaces. Was it too late to change her prompt? What other phrase could she make from these spaces? She looked up at Luke for a moment, a patient look on his face. She felt her heart flutter when his eyes locked with hers._

_“Is there no O?”_

_“No, I mean yes, sorry, there is. I just was making sure it was in the right position.” She ducked her head, drawing two O’s in the spots. There was really no going back from this was there._

_She could see the gears turning in his head as Luke examined the prompt in front of him. His mouth was moving ever so slightly, forming possible words from the clues he had so far. Just before he was about to guess, Ray’s voice interrupted them._

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our newlyweds!” Applause and hurrays were heard as the couple entered, hand in hand, with the most infectious grins on their faces._

_“We can continue this later,” Luke whispered to Julie over the cheers._

_She nodded, shoving the napkin into her dress’s pocket. Julie let out a breath, suddenly feeling grateful for the well-timed interruption._

_All the guests watched from their tables as the couple made their way to the center of the dance floor. Their hands didn’t separate from each other’s grasp, using their free hands to wave and smile at the crowd. The clapping died down as music began to play in the background, the sound of chimes signaling it was time for their first dance._

_“For the first time ever, let’s give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Morales!” Ray announced into the microphone before ceding the attention to the stars of the night, who were already swaying to the song they had chosen for this very special moment._

_Everyone in the backyard cooed as Marvin Gaye’s voice echoed from the speakers Ray had set up. Victoria and Richard held each other close, their foreheads touching as they soaked everything in. Julie couldn’t help but watch, mesmerized by the scene in front of her._

_After the first chorus had passed, Ray walked over to their table, outstretching his hand for Rose. She laughed in amusement but took his hand nonetheless, allowing him to lead them onto the dance floor beside the newlywed couple. Victoria sent a wink to her sister. Rose responded by blowing her a kiss._

_Julie could feel her heart warming as she watched the continuance of two love stories unfold. The sight of her parents, the love story of all love stories, coupled with her aunt (and uncle!) seemed to radiate the brightest energy. She could feel the love on her fingertips._

_At the same time, the napkin in her pocket felt like it was burning a hole through her dress, a stark reminder of what her future could be like. She immediately pressed her hand against it, both in an attempt to qualm the sensation and make sure it was still there._

_Luke caught the sudden movement out of the corner of her eye, mistaking her jitteriness for anxiety. He turned to face her at the same moment she looked to him, their eyes locking. “Come on,” Luke lended out a hand to her, a boyish smile on his face. “Let’s dance.”_

_And how could she say no?_

_She followed him to the center, trying pointedly to not notice the guests staring at them. She caught Victoria’s eye, who only smirked knowingly at the preteens, nudging her sister to look as well. Too nervous to see her mom’s reaction she faced Luke again to find him glancing quickly at the other dancing couples to mimic their positions. He placed a hand on her back, holding his left hand out to clasp hers. Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his, looping her other arm over his shoulder._

_Brown met green in an uncertain gaze, but a small nod from Luke let her know that this was okay. They were okay._

_Julie wanted more than okay._

_Their bodies swayed side to side to the beat of the song. She leaned in, resting her head on his chest. She could hear him above her, his voice low and deep, singing softly._

_“You’re all the joys under the sun wrapped up into one.”_

_She could feel the pace of heart begin to pick up, her body sensing its close proximity to his and beginning to set off all the alarms. Inhala, exhala. In through the nose, out through the mouth. The steady thud of her heart returned._

_“You’re all I need.”_

_Maybe staying friends was better for them. They could avoid the awkwardness of dating and any bad feelings that came if they broke up. Except she had really really hoped that he would be it for her. Was that a ridiculous thought to have at the age of 13?_

_“You’re all I need.”_

_Julie was unsure if her feelings were even reciprocated. The way he looked at her with heart eyes, as Flynn put it, confused her. Didn’t he look at his guitar the same way?_

_“You’re all I need to get by.”_

_She lifted her head to lock eyes with him as he sang the final line. Her heart did somersaults as the music faded out, the next song in the queue filling the space. He retreated from their position, giving her a mock bow as a thank you for the dance._ _In that moment Julie knew. No matter what happened between them, Luke Patterson would be her first love._

_**_

_When she laid in bed that night, she rummaged through her dress pockets for the crinkled napkin. She carefully flattened it out with her palm, her eyes falling on the unfinished game they had started._

_i_ _ i _ _i_ o _ __ o __

_A breath escaped her lips as her mind filled in the blanks._

_i think i love you_

* * *

Since their shared moment on the nature hike, Luke could feel a familiar feeling rising in his chest. It began as a dull sensation that he had initially dismissed as heartburn, but every passing hour it seemed to return, striking him suddenly out of the blue.

It only took a few hours to realize that the feeling only flared up when he was around Julie.

He remembered the last time he had felt like this. Faint memories of a fluffy pink dress and a suffocating suit flashed in his mind. The distinct chimes of a Marvin Gaye song echoed in his ears.

Luke supposed that he should’ve been more surprised by the sudden change of heart, but ever since Reggie’s drunken revelation, something buried deep within his psyche had resurfaced. It was only amplified by the fact that the once frequent jabs and backhanded compliments between them had diminished almost entirely.

There were still moments one of them would let a snarky comment slip. It was a sharp reminder of how they’d changed. He knew there was a lot for them to talk about. There was a lot of mending that needed to be done on both sides, though arguably more from his than hers.

But it was easier to avoid it in favor of subtle touches and longing gazes. They had so easily slipped back into a familiar friendship, something that faintly resembled the relationship they had fostered years ago. A recognizable comfort.

It was clear that their friends had wordlessly taken note of the change in tension. Originally expecting that they’d have to spend hours keeping the two from ripping at each other’s throats, they were surprised to find that they were getting along fine. Spring break was going well, they were all having fun. A conversation with Julie could jeopardize that.

Luke was well aware that everything around them was built on a fragile foundation. Even if they were going through the familiar motions, there was almost an unspoken truce that they didn't have to address it right now. The last thing he wanted to do was cause things to implode, especially when they were starting to look up. The more he thought about it the more he convinced himself it was just never a good time to talk about it.

**

“I don’t know if I could eat another enchilada for the rest of my life,” Bobby groaned, leaning against a lamppost outside the restaurant.

They had found a hole-in-the-wall restaurant close to the boardwalk that luckily was able to seat all ten of them. Alex ensured them that despite the small space, online reviews praised the restaurant for its deliciously authentic dishes. An hour and upwards of fifty enchiladas later, they left stuffed to the brim.

Luke could feel the fatigue take over his body, swinging his arm around Reggie to keep himself upright. He knew he shouldn’t have challenged Bobby to see who could eat more.

“I feel like I have food baby twins,” Carrie whined as Nick laughed beside her, his arm around her waist to hoist her up.

Luke’s eyes flickered to their affection. Lately, his head and heart had been reminding him that he had wanted what they had. He pulled his eyes to glance at Julie, who was stumbling along with Flynn as the group of them walked back to the hotel.

Reggie dragged Luke along, always the energetic one. How he had managed to eat nearly seven enchiladas and not feel the least bit lethargic was beyond Luke’s comprehension. “The night is young guys! We still have so much time to kill before Alex’s bedtime,” he teased.

Alex let out a loud groan from where he stood, his body weight pressed against Willie. “I need my beauty sleep, Reginald.” Willie chuckled at his boyfriend, combing his hand adoringly through the blonde locks.

Luke had to turn from the couple, his own heart tugging to remind him again of his own desires.

Kayla piped up. “We can hang out in the game room of the hotel. I know Reg has been dying to go back.”

Reggie bounced at the prospect. “Oh yes, I want a chance to crush Bobby on foosball!”

“You’re going down, Peters,” Bobby groaned from the back of the group, his body slightly bent forward to appease the fullness he felt. He was definitely still recovering from the enchiladas.

The walk back to the resort was short but much needed. Luke was grateful for the fresh air, allowing himself to be distracted by the sound of locals strolling along the boardwalk and down by the beach. He kept his eyes peeled forward, avoiding the way Nick occasionally pressed his lips to Carrie’s head as they whispered to each other and the loving gazes Alex and Willie shared in their own little world.

His mind wandered to what it would be like to be in their shoes. He tried to imagine his arm wrapped so tightly around someone that he couldn’t bring himself to let go, the feel of her skin under his lips as he kissed the crown of her head. Every time he tried to picture it, the same curly-haired Latina came to his mind.

They were back at the hotel before he knew it, making their way down the lobby halls towards the game room. Alex and Willie immediately went for one of the couches, the blonde resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Carrie and Nick joined them on the opposite couch, the two of them hovered over Carrie’s phone as she scrolled through her social media. Bobby and Reggie immediately beelined their way to the foosball table, hyping themselves up for their match. Luke stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of where to place himself.

“You up for a game of pool? We can do teams of two,” Julie’s voice caught his attention. She jerked her head towards Flynn and Kayla who were picking their cue sticks from the wall. He smiled and nodded at her proposition, following closely behind as they joined the other two. “I’ll be with Kayla. Flynn, you and Luke are against us. Normal rules,” she recited as she placed the balls in the triangular rack, lifting it up smoothly to reveal the formation. She turned to face the other three. “Sound good?”

In hindsight, Luke should’ve expected his competitive side to come out during the game. Whenever he and the boys would challenge each other, he was always determined to come out on top, regardless of the consequences. (The discomfort he felt when devouring those street dogs had almost stopped him — almost. The food poisoning that came after was not fun at all.)

He also remembered the games that him and Julie would play to pass time. Though they frequently opted for games as simple as tic-tac-toe and hangman, the stubbornness they both harbored made the competition much more fun. It was only inevitable that the same determination would surface again.

Both him and Julie hadn’t even noticed that their respective partners were no longer playing, too enthralled by the possibility of winning. It was his turn and he was down by two. He lined the stick to the ball at the desired angle, pushing forward to hit and sink the solid yellow ball. Moving to the other side of the table to evaluate his choices, he bent over slightly to align his aim. This hit could determine the game.

He struck the stick forward, watching as the cue ball hit his last solid ball. It rolled towards the pocket at an angle slightly too wide, hitting the corner of the wall instead of falling into the hole. Julie clicked her tongue in mock disappointment. He would normally be upset, but the position of the cue ball made it nearly impossible for her to sink the 8-ball in one shot, meaning he still had a chance. “If you get this in on this shot, I’ll pay for one of your meals before we leave here. Any meal of your choosing.”

Julie, a well-versed witness to Luke’s competitiveness, rose an eyebrow. She was never one to back down. “That corner.” She pointed haphazardly at the far side of the table, ignoring the way Luke’s own eyebrows shot to his forehead. 

He watched as she crouched, staring intently from behind the cue ball in the direction of the black ball. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth in concentration. He had to bite his own tongue from expressing how cute it was. They were in a competition. No funny business.

She stood up slowly and brought the cue stick in position. Leaning over the table and testing her grip, she slammed the stick forward into the white ball. In slow motion, they watched watched as the white ball knocked the black one into a wall, diverting its path straight into the corner hole.

Luke’s jaw dropped as Julie straightened her back with a smirk on her face. She turned to Flynn, who was shaking her head at Luke’s naïveté. “Do you know of any good lobster places around here, Flynn?”

He sighed in resignation. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Jules. Didn’t think you would make that shot.”

“Oh, I know. I’ve got many tricks up my sleeves, don’t you forget it.” She winked at him before taking Flynn’s arm and leaving his vicinity to join the others on the couch.

The way his heart flipped in his own chest at that was a little too embarrassing for him to mentally acknowledge.

**

Perhaps pigging out at a local restaurant the night before they were going swimming with dolphins wasn’t the brightest idea. Most of the group still felt bloated and sluggish the next morning, but powered through since they had already put their down payment for the activity anyway.

The feel of the cold water against his skin jolted him awake, bringing him out of his languid state. He waded to keep himself comfortably afloat, watching as half of the group hopped in, each of them shrieking in their own way once making contact with the water. They had to take turns in groups of five as to not overwhelm the dolphins.

The instructor guided them to where the dolphins were waiting, eager to play with new friends. Luke hesitated to reach out to touch the mammal, wanting to know what they would feel like but not wanting to know at the same time. His arm was mid-stretch in the water when he heard Julie’s squeal from a few feet away.

Luke immediately snapped his head in her direction to find the dolphin pressing his beak to Julie’s cheek in a kiss. He grinned to himself, not even remotely shocked that she could draw in any animal. She radiated kindness and care, something the dolphin had obviously sensed. It reminded him of Snow White.

A wet, hard surface brushed against his hand suddenly, scaring him. He peeled his eyes from Julie to the dolphin in front of him, the same one that he had been trying to touch for the past few minutes. It had swam up to him while he wasn’t paying attention, craving a pet from the human nearby. He cooed at its cuteness, keeping one hand on its body in a soft caress.

“Group picture!” Reggie called out from the dock a few yards away.

He pulled his hand from his new friend, whom he could’ve sworn dolphin-whimpered at the loss of contact. Luke swam his way to the rest of the group and settled next to Julie. She tucked herself under his arm and he felt her body press into his side as his hand dropped from her shoulder to her waist. She leaned in more against him and he couldn’t but drop his eyes at her. Julie looked up at him at the same second, offering him a genuine smile. He beamed back, his eyes crinkling. The moment lasted an instant, the two of them suddenly remembering their surroundings and turning back to face the camera.

They took a few pictures in different poses (“For the ‘gram, obviously,” explained Kayla) before they could finally back away from each other’s space. Luke waited a beat before letting his hand drop from Julie’s side as if he was unconsciously reluctant to let her go.

Reggie showed him the pictures later. He had snapped a couple before everyone was ready (“Ray said it’s a good way to capture some candid shots!”), including one that caught the moment him and Julie looked at each other. Anyone with eyes could see the way he looked at her like she was the world, like she hung the moon and stars.

Luke sent that one to himself before deleting it off of Reggie’s phone.

**

One look at Julie and Luke knew that she had had a lot to drink. It was already evident in her constant swaying back and forth and further accentuated by the fact that she was, as Luke had witnessed for the first time in many years, so freely herself.

She was bouncing her seat, her mouth moving to the lyrics as Carrie and Kayla sang their own rendition of I Need a Hero. From a table over, Luke kept swiping his eyes to look at her. He eyed her bouncing leg, a bright smile on her face as she occasionally whooped to show her support for her girlfriends.

Carrie was having a lot of fun, from what he could tell, throwing in random Dirty Candy dance moves every now and then that Kayla could pick up on. They were talented, there was no doubt about it. It was why them and Sunset Curve were always neck-and-neck when it came to the semesterly Battle of the Bands.

(Though Luke had to admit that the neon wigs and flashy outfits sometimes added too much flair — sue him for wanting a more rugged, natural aesthetic for him and his boys.)

Their song came to a close and they walked off the stage in a diva-like manner, strutting their way back to their seats. Everyone raised a glass to the pair, a means of cheering each other on after every karaoke performance someone did.

“Alright, Luke, you’re up!”

Luke waved his hands in front of his body frantically. The last thing he wanted to do was sing from a list of cheesy songs from the early 2000s, especially while inebriated. There was no way of knowing what his body would do with his brain on temporary standby.

Whines and boos were heard around the group at his refusal. Reggie poked his side in an effort to get him to his feet and Bobby used the small opportunity to push him towards the small stage in front of the bar. Luke resigned to his fate, allowing his legs to bring him up on the elevated floor. He looked out at the crowd, a mix of familiar faces and complete strangers.

He scrolled through the list quickly before his eyes found it. Instinctively, he pressed on the screen, the song immediately queuing up and beginning to play in the speakers. Luke grasped the microphone, a familiar action his body knew despite his drunkenness, whipping the stand back and forth in an overdramatic fashion to await his entrance to the song. Performing was in his blood. He knew how to work the stage, strutting back and forth and giving his all to a song. His eyes kept going back to Julie, waiting for the moment of realization to cross her features. He watched as it happened — the widening of her eyes, the visual intake of breath, her mouth opening in shock, as if she herself was surprised that she could forget the significance. After the initial revelation subsided, her eyes locked on his and he offered a smile, one that she hesitated but eventually returned.

That smile, the same smile that had been both the reason to wake up in the morning then the most infuriating thing in the past four years, revved him up. No matter the size of the stage, Luke gave up control when he sang. It was no different tonight. “Like sweet morning dew, I took one look at you. And it was plain to see that you were my destiny.” He sent her a wink and she could see the way she rolled her eyes, though she did very little to hide the smile she sported.

“With my arms open wide, I threw away my pride. I’ll sacrifice for you, dedicate my life to you.” He swayed on the stage to the beat of the song before jumping up at the build. “I will go where you lead, always there in time of need. And when I lose my will, you’ll be there to push me up the hill.”

He waggled his eyebrows at her as he reached the chorus, adding a bit of growl to his tone as he sang. “There’s no, no looking back for us. We got love sure ‘nough, that’s enough.” The words coming out of his mouth carried more weight than an intoxicated Luke could realize but he pushed those thoughts aside, only focused on Julie. He could make out her lips moving to mouth the lyrics quietly. Luke couldn’t help the chesire-like grin that overcame him. “You’re all, you’re all that I need to get by.”

The crowd seemed to sense that the song wouldn’t be done proper justice without a partner, their eyes searching the room for someone they could force onstage. Luke only had his eyes on one person, who seemed both terrified and intrigued. As the music continued between the verses, he dipped his head into the microphone. “You going to join me?”

Murmurs were heard around the room as everyone in the crowd, including his own friends, looked around to figure out who he was addressing. His eyes were kept solely on her as she downed a shot before standing up. Luke’s eyes widened, not expecting that she would actually take him up on his offer. In just four strides she was stepping onto the stage, taking hold of the second microphone stand.

He stared at her, asking silently if she was sure. He knew she hadn’t sang in years, at least not publicly. As happy as he was at the possibility of her finally breaking down that wall, he didn’t want to push her. Not after last time.

She nodded her assurance just as the prompter indicated his next lines were coming up.

“Like an eagle protects his nest, for you I’ll do my best. Stand by you like a tree and dare anybody to try and move me.” He stood facing the crowd with his head turned towards her. There was no way he would miss this moment.

The second she opened her mouth to sing, Luke knew he was a goner. At least, more than he already was.

“Darling, in you I found strength when I was torn down. Don’t know what’s in store but together we can open any door.” Her low tone was incredibly strong for someone who wasn’t vocally training on a daily basis like the lot of them. She was an absolute natural. He could see the slight surprise in her own reaction, though the trace of uncertainty disappeared as she continued to sing. “Just to do what’s good for you and inspire you a little higher.” She gripped the microphone and faced Luke, a smile growing across her cheeks. The vision of her singing to him brought him back to their writing sessions years ago, the two of them playing at the piano until either one of them stroke inspiration.

“I know you can make a man out of a soul that didn’t have a goal,” Luke couldn’t help but beam back as he crooned. He could feel a million emotions in his head at once. Pride that she was finally doing it. Awe in how mesmerizing she was, like she hadn’t taken a four year hiatus from singing. Adoration in the way she sounded and looked like an old version of Julie he knew.

“‘Cause we, we got the right foundation and with love and determination.” Their voices mixed together perfectly, his low growl complementing her strong belt. He bent his knees and bounced in place to sing up to her, a habit he often did when performing, never able to stay still for too long.

“You’re all, you’re all I want to strive for and do a little more.” Their bodies faced each other completely, foregoing their microphone stands. The longer they sang to each other, the more the outside world began to disappear from his periphery. The sheer intensity of the moment sobered him up instantly.

“You’re all the joys under the sun wrapped up into one.” Memories flashed in his mind of the last time he’d heard this song. He could picture the fairy lights, the familiar backdrop of the Molina’s backyard, the dress Victoria wore. He could feel her arm resting around his neck, her head pressed to his chest. That was the night he knew.

“You’re all I need.” The meaning of the words weren’t lost on him, but he knew that if he thought about it too much in the moment he’d probably spontaneously combust or spiral instead of finishing the song. He was a performer. The art came first. He just had to make it to the end of the song.

“You’re all I need.” Luke’s eyes locked with hers in an unexpected gaze. For a split second, he could’ve sworn he saw it in her eyes, something that indicated that she might feel a fraction of what he felt. 

“You’re all I need to get by.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, eyes closed as she riffed to fill the fading music. The way she effortlessly poured her entire heart into the first song she sang after four years sent fireworks through his body. And the fact that he got a front row seat to it all was the cherry on top.

The sound of clapping and whistling from the crowd jolted them out of their world and back into reality. The two of them snapped their heads to the crowd who were on their feet in a standing ovation after their performance. Julie bowed awkwardly and Luke waved shyly at the onlookers, before stepping off the stage on their respective sides to rejoin their friends.

Luke was barely paying attention to the compliments being thrown their way, both from their friends and passing strangers. He watched her from across the tables, smiling shyly at the praises from her friends, all of whom were shocked, proud, and ecstatic that she had finally done it. She tucked her hair behind her ear. He recognized it as one of her nervous tics. As if she sensed him staring, she lifted her head to meet his gaze. He caught a glimpse of her smile before she turned back to her friends who were still raving about her first performance in years.

The image of her singing on that stage was forever engraved into his mind. And in that moment Luke knew. He was in love with Julie Molina…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :ooooooo SHE BE SANGIN AND LUKE IS IN LOOOOOOOVE 🥺 🥺
> 
> on a side note i love writing parallels in case that wasn't blaringly obvious from the way this chapter is written 
> 
> i'm excited for the next few chapters! the drama will unfold and you will soon discover what happened four years ago!! thanks again for everyone who has been on this journey with me so far, i appreciate you so much :')


	8. pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helllloooo! this next chapter is finally here! work and life has been crazy busy this past week, but i wanted to push through and give you guys this before i drowned in work :')
> 
> peep that chapter title tho....i wonder what that could mean...
> 
> enjoy! <3

_If you asked Luke when he knew he was in love with Julie Molina, he couldn’t tell you to save his own life. He was, however, thoroughly convinced that he had been in love with her the moment they met in the first grade, before he even knew who she was and way before he understood what love meant._

_Luke remembered the first day they met in class. How she had been stationed next to him at their desks thanks to the alphabetical seating chart, how she had worn her hair in two tight braids, how she had smiled at him with the adorable gap between her teeth. He had been an absolute brat back then, tugging at her braids and making blunt comments._

_It turned out that he just really liked having her attention._

_He had heard of soulmates before, though he didn’t fully believe in them. The concept of finding the one person you were meant to be with was daunting, and realistically, it didn’t make sense. And who was he to let the universe dictate who he would love? Luke Patterson was never one to listen to orders._

_The closest thing he felt to finding a soulmate (from the descriptions he’d gathered from others) was with Julie. From the second she sat down next to him, he was immediately drawn to her. As a kid, he labeled it as their destiny to be best friends. With every passing year, he felt their friendship growing and mistook his intensifying feelings for her as purely platonic. It didn’t really click as anything more until middle school._

_They were attached at the hip, walking to classes when their destinations were across different hallways, saving each other a seat at lunchtime and even assemblies. It was rare to find Luke without Julie close by and vice versa. To him, it was normal. Being around Julie had helped to form his favorite memories. He couldn’t picture his day without seeing her._

_“So are you two dating or what?”_

_Luke blinked rapidly, taken aback at the blunt question. He stared at the two girls in front of them. He recognized them from his English class. Julie shied away at their question, looking at Luke for an answer. He scrunched his nose, shaking his head. “No, we’re just best friends.”_

_The girl on the left smirked, letting out a little scoff. “Well, no one believes that.” She flipped her hair and turned away in a dramatic fashion (seriously, it reminded him of something Carrie would’ve done), her friend following closely behind._

_Later that night, as he laid in bed, Luke found himself thinking about that question. Did they really act that much like a couple? He thought about his friendships with the guys and tried to find the similarities, but in comparison to his friendships with Alex, Reggie, and Bobby, there was always something different when it came to Julie. They just fit together differently._

_Luke allowed his mind to ponder on the idea of them dating. Aside from the new label, he imagined things wouldn’t be too different. They’d still hang out as much as they did now and maybe even spend more time alone together. They’d still write together, make music, watch movies, with the added ability to be affectionate — well, more affectionate than he already was with her. Yet the thought of all that didn’t repulse him out in any way. If anything, he became more curious._

_Since then, every time he looked at Julie, he wondered what it would be like to be with her. When they walked to the nearby park, he wanted to know what it felt like to intertwine their fingers as they walked. When they contorted themselves to fit on the couch in the studio, he thought about holding her in his arms in a more comfortable position. He yearned to talk to her endlessly, listening to her laugh as if it was the best song that was created on this planet._

_It was only a matter of time that he looked at her through rose-tinted glasses. At just the ripe age of eleven, Luke Patterson was head over heels for Julie Molina._

_Besides, what wasn’t there to love?_

_She was one of the most selfless, caring beings he had ever met. There had been multiple occasions when him, Alex, Reggie, or some combination of them would forget their lunches. Julie would always have extra food or extra money to spare, sometimes sacrificing her own lunch to make sure none of them starved._

_She was always willing to do things for him and the boys, whether it was staying up late to finish a rewrite of a bridge, pausing her own work to tinker with the song’s arrangement, or giving them her homework when they’d forgotten to complete it. Julie always insisted on lending a hand in whatever way she could, never wanting to miss out on an opportunity to help._

_She shined the brightest in every room she entered. The same way Galileo knew the universe revolved around the Sun, Luke was convinced that everything was just drawn to her radiance. Her laugh was infectious and her smile made him feel invincible._

_And most of all, she loved music the same way Luke did. That common interest alone was enough to fuel their conversations for weeks. Beyond conversations of which Rolling Stones album was better and which era of Taylor Swift was the most iconic, the way her mind worked was unlike anything he had ever seen. Just one look at his notebook (a long look, since she had to decipher his chicken scratches), she could pinpoint where exactly he needed to add an extra syllable, remove a line, change the phrasing, or modulate the key. Her mind did wonders._

_These were the ways she was Julie. They were the reasons he loved her._

_**_

_When Rose first got sick, he started to see the change._

_In the beginning, her splitting certain household duties with Carlos made sense. But what was just a short list of additional chores became a long list of to-dos: washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning the bathrooms, cooking dinner, making everyone’s lunches. On top of that, she was constantly checking in on Rose to make sure she was comfortable. The more she did around the house to help out, the less she had time for her own enjoyments. She cared so much for everyone else, she stopped caring for herself._

_There were days where she showed up with bags under her eyes, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She'd forget her lunch but wave off any help, citing that she just wasn't hungry that day. Luke wanted to help but knew she would only push him away like she did everyone else, so he watched quietly from the sidelines as the bags under her eyes grew darker and her grades fell. His heart tightened every time._

_Luke remembered that she didn’t smile for a while after the initial diagnosis. He couldn’t blame her either, his own heart was heavy with the news. Then a week later, in the middle of telling her about Reggie’s adventures of fixing his amp in the rain, a smile graced her features. It had scared him initially, to look at her and see the shell of who she used to be. He knew she was trying, even if he could see pass her smile. It didn’t reach her cheeks._

_It pained him to see her go through such tremendous hardships. He wanted nothing more than to shoulder some of her burden, to lighten her load so that she could feel the freeness of being herself again. To exhibit the same freeness that captured his heart in the first place._

_And then Rose died._

_At first, he thought it was just the studio. She was vocal about not wanting to go back to the studio, citing that the place had been a sacred place for her and her mom, spending hours creating and just being in each other’s presence. There were no doubt a lot of memories held in the small space, and being back there again was not the best move for her healing. Luke understood that._

_Then, she stopped coming to Sunset Curve rehearsals. He tried to avoid asking her too soon, but then there was a song that needed another ear and a bridge that was missing something that he couldn’t identify and he knew he had to seek her opinion. When he first asked her to drop by, she smiled sweetly at the offer before declining. “I’ve gotta be home for Carlos. He’s been struggling in school lately and I told my dad I would keep an eye out for him.”_

_He inquired for her presence the following day, but she waved him off again. “My dad has a photoshoot so I have to cook dinner for us.” When he explained that he just needed help on the song’s bridge — no playing necessary — her lips curled in a bittersweet smile. “I have a lot of homework too.” The excuses only became more and more vague._

_“I’m hanging out at Flynn’s.”_

_“I have another thing after school.”_

_“I can’t today.”_

_Eventually he just stopped asking._

_**_

_Luke yawned, stretching his arms carefully to not hit Julie or block her view of the television. He relaxed and set his arm around her, the two of them snuggling on the couch while watching Toy Story 3._

_A vibrating sound came from the table, Julie’s phone lighting up with an incoming call. She jumped almost instantly, preventing Luke from seeing who was calling. “I’ll be right back.” She grabbed the phone and all but sprinted to the kitchen to answer the phone._

_Luke sighed and leaned back, only briefly paying any mind to her anxious mannerisms. He didn’t want to bring the mood of the afternoon down, not when they were just beginning to hang out again. Even though it had still been just a few weeks after Rose’s passing, things were starting to resemble some sort of normalcy._

_Luke would come over like he did before, as long as Julie didn’t have a session with Dr. Turner or wasn’t swamped with homework. He was grateful for the time they could spend together, though he missed the times when they would hole up in the studio and crank out song after song. But he knew she wasn’t ready for that yet and she always brought out the best in him, so he was determined to be patient with her._

_(He almost never stayed for dinner anymore though. It felt wrong to take the fourth seat at the table.)_

_Julie came back from the kitchen, placing her phone back down to rejoin him on the couch. “What’d I miss?”_

_“Ah, nothing really.” He didn’t want to tell her that he had been too busy thinking about her to even pay attention to the movie on the screen. He took another handful of popcorn. “Who was that?”_

_“Oh, it was nothing,” she shrugged._

_Luke rose an eyebrow at her. “Nothing? Why’d you go into the kitchen then?” He didn’t mean to come off as nosy, but they were best friends. There were no secrets between them. When she didn’t respond, he pushed more, poking at her side to get her attention. “C’mon, Jules. What are you hiding from me?”_

_She let out a long breath before staring at him intently, as if contemplating whether she should reveal the truth. “It was Principal Lessa.” Luke noticed that she was deliberately avoiding his eye contact._

_He furrowed his eyebrows. “From Los Feliz? What’d she want?”_

_“She was just calling to confirm some stuff for next year,” Julie responded dryly._

_Luke nudged her shoulder with his, teasing, “What? Talent scouts already got their eye on you before you set foot in the classroom?”_

_“Not exactly,” Julie winced. Luke looked at her questioningly, expecting a further explanation. When she realized he wasn’t going to let up, she explained. “She was calling to confirm my disenrollment.”_

_Luke froze, snapping his head to look at her. “Disenrollment?”_

_“I withdrew from the music program.”_

_Luke let out a scoff followed by a dry laugh. “Haha, very funny. You almost had me there.” He grabbed another fistful of popcorn, turning his head towards the television._

_“I’m serious, Luke.”_

_Luke paused, chewing the rest of his popcorn down before pausing the movie. He set the remote down before turning his body to face her. “You dropped out of the music program?”_

_Julie nodded curtly. Her eyes darted around the room, clearly not wanting to have this conversation._

_“Is this because of…” Luke trailed off, knowing she would pick up on his question._

_She shook her head. “I just don’t think it’s for me anymore. That’s all.”_

_Luke nodded his head slowly, unsure whether he believed her, or if she even believed herself. After a few pauses he spoke. “Okay, if that’s what you think.”_

_Julie looked up at him, an expression of slight shock on her face. “You’re not mad?”_

_“No, I’m not.” He locked eyes with her so she would know he was genuine. “I just wish you would have told me beforehand.”_

_Her eyes softened at his confession. “I know, I’m sorry. It just kind of happened.”_

_“It’s fine, Jules. As long as you’re happy.” She smiled at this and he couldn’t help but beam back. Even the smallest of Julie’s smiles had the same effect. “Besides, we’ll still have some general electives together, right?”_

_Her smile grew. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't seen her smile so brightly in weeks. “Definitely.”_

_They assumed their previous positions on the couch and Luke pointed the remote at the screen, resuming the movie, though he didn’t pay it any attention. His mind was still lost on the idea that she had dropped out of the music school._

_He had known that getting back into music had been rough since Rose’s passing, but he had no idea that it would come to this. Should he have known this was coming? He had wanted to give her time and space to get back into it at her own pace, but maybe he missed some signs along the way. Was he not being an attentive best friend?_

_“Who else knows?” He asked suddenly._

_Julie looked at him oddly, before she came to understand the context of his question. “My dad and Tía. I haven’t told anyone else.” He watched as she played with her thumbs, something she did when she felt nervous. “When they do find out, you’ll have my back?”_

_“Of course, Jules. I’ll always have your back.”_

_And he wholeheartedly believed that. He wanted to be someone for her to lean on the same way she had been his rock during his hardships. His eyes glanced down at her, though she was staring forward and watching the movie._

_In the blink of an eye, the events and memories of the past few weeks flashed before him. Rose’s funeral, Julie’s avoidance of the studio, their rehearsals without her, anything and everything that had changed. He could barely remember what she looked like when she was happy. He took a sharp intake of breath._

_Blinking rapidly to bring him back to reality, he came to find Julie staring at him quizzically, evidently concerned by his sudden gasp. “Are you okay?”_

_His eyes met her brown orbs. He tried to hold her gaze, desperate to see something inside her that would prove him wrong, but he didn’t see anything but a confused Julie staring right back at him. In that moment, he didn’t know what terrified him more: the fact that he was losing his best friend or the fact that the girl he was sure he loved didn’t seem to exist anymore._

_**_

_He hopped off his bike as it tipped over onto the Molina’s front lawn, his body buzzing with energy. Luke peeked through the front door before tiptoeing in, careful not to make any noise. Even though Julie was at Flynn’s, the last thing he wanted to do was startle Carlos or Ray by a surprise visit._

_When he reached her bedroom door, he twisted the knob slowly and peered in, ensuring that no one was around him. He tiptoed inside, making his way towards her desk to retrieve what he needed. An impromptu meeting with the boys had sparked a brilliant idea. He knew how to get his Julie back._

* * *

“Julie, it’s time for breakfast.”

Flynn’s voice rang through the room from where she was in the bathroom, getting ready to head down to the hotel’s dining area. Julie rolled over in bed, shielding her face from the sun’s bright light by dragging the cover over her head. She groaned.

Flynn walked out of the bathroom, her braids tied into a bun on the top of her head. She pattered over to Julie’s bed, shaking the lump that resembled her friend. “J, let’s go.”

Julie moved the duvet from where she had covered her face, allowing her eyes to peak out at her roommate. Flynn rose an eyebrow expectantly, shifting her weight to one leg. “Jeez, you look like hell.” She leaned over to pull down the covers from Julie’s body, her eyes widening when she realized Julie was still in the same outfit as previous night. “You didn’t even change?”

Julie rolled her eyes, reaching down to cover herself again. “I barely slept.” She rubbed her eyes and yawned to emphasize her point.

“Got something on your mind? Or someone?” Flynn teased, waggling her eyebrows in a manner that could rival Reggie’s.

Even though she knew Flynn was only joking, Julie’s mind had been racing since they got back from the karaoke bar last night. She knew she had drank a decent amount, but it didn’t leave her hungover enough to forget the memories now permanently engrained in her brain - the look Luke gave her from the makeshift karaoke stage, his eyes sparkling with a challenge; the fireworks she felt when he sang to her; the relief she felt when she sang back.

_Holy shit._

The realization hit her at full speed. She had actually sang last night. For the first time in years, she let that part of her, the one that had been tucked away and hidden for so long, consume her body. And it was all because of Luke.

He had to have known that she wouldn’t say no to the challenge. Even with their slowly redeveloping friendship, he had the knowledge and experience of her stubbornness. She was still unsure whether she should be thankful or not.

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me, but I know what you’re thinking about.” Flynn smirked, turning to head towards the door again. “And you better meet me downstairs soon, because we got a whole lot to discuss, girl.” Without waiting for a response, she shut the door behind her.

She could make out Flynn’s voice from the other side of the door talking to someone. “She’ll probably come down later, she didn’t sleep well.”

“Too busy thinking about a certain boy?” Carrie’s voice joked alongside Flynn, the sound of their voices getting quieter as they retreated further down the hallway.

Julie grabbed behind her head at the pillow and brought it down on her face, letting out a muffled scream. Her brain was loud, firing off rapid questions that she didn’t even have a moment to think about before the next question arose. Why did Luke invite her to sing? Did Luke know the significance of the song? What did it mean when he looked at her like _that_ when she sang? How _did_ she sing?

Julie faltered on the last question. It had been so long since Julie had allowed herself to feel lost in music, much less comfortable enough to partake in it. Listening to music had initially been such a feat after her mom’s death. She had to be careful not to listen to any songs that held or triggered memories and caused her to spiral. Playing the piano and singing was out of the question completely - it never felt right without her mom at her side.

She couldn’t help but feel the weight of immense guilt on her shoulders as she reminisced the previous night’s events. Julie wished she could blame the alcohol or Luke, but there was a moment where she consciously realized what she was doing and didn’t do anything to stop herself.

But what shocked her the most wasn’t that her voice, having been on hiatus for a few years, sounded about the same as she remembered, it was how her body reacted. She felt a rush of joy when she started, every word sung was another step in the chase towards the adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was like finding water after a drought, she couldn’t get enough. Had she been depriving herself of this?

Julie could remember when she tried to sing before a month or two following her mom’s passing. It was her third and final attempt to see if attending the music program was still plausible. All she had to do was sing one song, a chorus, a single line — her throat dried out before she could get a single word out. From then on, she just assumed it was better not to try. It hurt less to avoid singing than to try and do it without her mom next to her.

When she was on the dimly lit stage last night, stationed across from Luke, there wasn’t anything holding her back. There wasn’t a dark cloud of gloom surrounding her when she sang; she felt light as a feather, floating through the air.

Yet something was still off.

There was a small, nagging voice in her head. It reminded her of why she had stopped singing in the first place, why — as much as she seemed to enjoy last night’s events — things didn’t feel completely right. For so long, music was entangled with who her mom was. It seemed unfair to have one without the other. She couldn’t let herself have one without the other.

But the way Luke had looked at her, first from the stage to where she sat, then from where he stood to where she sang for the first time in years — it made the line blurry. And therein laid the issue: everything with Luke was blurry.

She didn’t know what they were now, but she knew she enjoyed being around him again, that he made her smile, that she enjoyed making him smile too. After hearing Flynn’s comment, calling her dad, and having multiple subsequent late night conversations with Flynn, Julie knew that what she felt was the textbook definition of love. Her mind, however, wasn’t easily convinced. The history was still there, and without addressing the elephant in the room, Julie just wasn’t sure how healthy it would be to allow her feelings to continue to grow and fester. The uncertainty of how that conversation would go only stressed her out more.

A soft knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts, her head snapping to the door. She furrowed her eyebrows. Flynn had her keycard, so she wasn’t sure who would be on the other side. Julie swung her legs over the bed, swapping her tank from last night for a baggy shirt. She didn’t bother to change out of her pants.

She swung the door open, surprised to find Luke on the other side, fist raised in the air as he was just about to knock again. He instantly retracted his fist, instead shoving it into his pocket. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Julie slowly responded. He was not the person she expected or wanted to see at the moment, not when she was mid-breakdown. “Can I help you?”

“Can I come in?”

Julie paused, unsure why he was here and silently cursing whatever deity above led him to find her at this exact moment. She stepped to the side, wordlessly allowing him into her quarters as she closed the door behind them.

When she faced him again, Luke kicked at the floor in front of him, his eyes dropping to the square of carpet he was toeing at. “I just wanted to check in on you…after last night.”

Julie crossed her arms. This was not the conversation she needed right now. “What about last night?”

“You know, the thing you did.” Julie rose an eyebrow at his vague implication. “You _sang._ ”

Her back immediately tensed, her posture suddenly straight. She was in the middle of working through this on her own. He was the last person she would want to talk this out with.

At her silence, he continued. “I know that we’re not,” he paused, unsure of how to finish his thought. He motioned between them in a messy motion. “I figured that you would be not okay after last night, and I just wanted to offer my solace in any way that I could.” Luke locked eyes with her, a shy smile growing across his face. “You’re an amazing singer, Jules. I know it’s been a while, but you’re a natural.”

Julie stood still in her spot. She could feel something stir within her gut at his words. Her arms fell to her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she clenched her fists.

He continued to rave about her, moving towards the curtains to take a peek outside, his back turned towards her rendering him unable to see her reaction. “Like even after this many years, it’s like I always told you before. You’re a wrecking ball.”

“Stop,” she interrupted him. Her voice was terse and a part of her brain remembered the last time she had used this tone with him. Julie couldn’t help it, she now felt her anger building at an unhealthy speed. She didn't want his praises. Even after all this time, he still didn’t get it.

“What?” Luke spun to look at her and tilted his head, as if she had grown a third eye.

Julie locked eyes with him. “Whatever happened last night, it was a one-time thing.” The singing, the flirting, the touches. All of it had to stop. It was messing with her head.

She could see the confusion in his eyes. “What are you talking about?” He asked hesitantly.

She had to force her gaze somewhere else, merely looking at him brought flashes of last night back in her mind. “I won’t do that again. ” Julie hoped that she sounded firm in her stance, she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

“What do you mean you won’t do it again? The singing?”

Julie nodded her head curtly. “I can’t,” she croaked out. The tears were beginning to form in her eyes from her frustration — at the situation, at him, at herself.

Luke took a few steps forward, his body a couple feet from hers. “Julie,” his voice was soft, like he was scared she would run if he came on too strong. “You were meant to be on a stage, you can’t tell me you didn’t feel that last night.”

She huffed in exasperation. “That’s the whole point! It didn’t feel right.”

“Bullshit,” Luke snapped back. “I have never seen you be more yourself than last night. That’s the first time in years that I’ve actually laid eyes on Julie Molina.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You're not you if you don’t have music in your life. We both know that.”

Julie reeled back from him, the few feet between them suddenly not being enough. “No, we don’t.”

Luke looked at her in disbelief. “You can’t be serious. The way you lit up that stage last night? You sang like it was no one’s business. That’s in your blood. How can you not want to showcase that to everyone?”

She threw her hands up in the air. “Because it feels wrong, Luke! What don’t you understand about that?” Exhausted from her lack of sleep and their fighting, she pushed past him to sit on her bed, taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

After a moment of hesitation, Luke sank down to sit next to her. She hoped that he would just drop it. “Is this because of me?”

Julie whipped her head to look at him, surprised at the casual way he referenced their explosive fight. She could feel the conversation shifting towards uncharted territory. Her eyes fixed forward, no longer looking at him. “No.”

“Then what is it?” From his tone, Julie could feel his frustration. She knew that he was only trying to help, he had come to see her in good faith after all. “Help me understand.”

Julie shot up to her feet, feeling annoyed at his desperation to help. She didn’t need his assistance, she was not a charity case. Looking at him harshly, she bit out, “There’s nothing to understand. Last night was a mistake. You should go.”

As he looked at her, she could see the gears turning in his head, as if he was trying to decode her thoughts telepathically. Eventually he sighed, relenting, standing up and walking towards the door before he stopped mid-step. She stared at his back, waiting for his next move. “She wouldn’t want this for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your mom.” Luke turned and locked eyes with her in a bold gaze. “You know she would want you to sing.”

“This is not about my mom.” Her teeth gritted together as she spoke, her eyes glaring at the passiveness of his mentioning her mom.

Luke walked towards her to match her stance, their bodies inches away. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You stopped doing all things music when your mom died, you couldn’t even be in the same room as a piano.”

“And _you_ said that it was fine.” She poked at his chest with a sharp finger. “ _You_ said that you would always have my back, so why do you care now?”

“Because I know what you’re capable of. You’re doing the world a disservice by hiding this part of you.”

“Is that all I am to you? A fucking voice?” Julie sneered at him, her mind kicking into overdrive. There were too many emotions bubbling up inside her, ready to boil over.

“Of course not!”

Julie threw her hands out to her side, surrendering to her confusion and anger. “Then _what_? Why are you always trying to fix me?”

Her words echoed in the space between and around them. Another familiar scene flashed in front of her eyes: a teary eyed Luke, four years younger, standing across from her in her room. She blinked, the image disappearing, and watched his face, his mouth opening and closing in an attempt to respond, but his mind no doubt taking him back to that fateful day.

She let out a sigh, the silence between them becoming unbearable. Julie stepped to the side, clearing a path for him to the door. “Just go, Luke.” She was worn out from the fighting. She just wanted to curl up in bed and cry.

Luke’s jaw clenched in response, her eyes catching the slightest motion. He took a deep breath in through his nose. “I’m not doing this again, Julie.” He lifted his head to lock eyes with hers, unshed tears framing his vision. “I’m not wasting another four years without you because of a stupid fight.”

The weight of his words pressed down on her chest, the air around them suddenly seeming sparse. He spoke with such earnest that she wanted to believe him, but another part of her, the same one that had been nagging her since last night, reminded her of how easily he let her guard down. How a momentary stare caused her blood to rush, how a single eyebrow raise broke her will. She turned from him to avoid his gaze, knowing that she was too close to breaking.

He motioned to the space around them, even though they were alone in the hotel room. “There are people here who care about you, Julie. You are surrounded by people who love you. Why can’t you just let us in?”

The dam burst.

Julie whipped around at him, finally allowing the tears to flow. “Because I can't be fixed!” Julie exclaimed, her booming voice rendering him silent. “I loved my mom more than anything in this world, and she’s gone. And that broke me.” Her voice cracked. “And then you left. I can’t keep trying to put myself together when people keep leaving.”

Luke crossed the room in a split second, his arms twitching at his sides as if he wanted to reach out to her. “I’m sorry for what I did. But I’m not, I won’t do that again. I promise.” The fire in his eyes was gone, replaced by a warm green. His words were softly spoken, but the intention and truth behind them remained unshaken.

She could hear her heart beating louder and louder, it began to block out the voice hounding her last night and all this morning. “Stop saying things like that,” she placed her hand on his chest, trying to create space between them so she could breathe freely again.

Luke pushed forward lightly with his chest. “Then stop pushing me away.” He looked down at her, their faces only inches away from each other.

The proximity was too much for her, she needed space, room, air. She stumbled backwards out of his grasp but he anticipated her move, grabbing at her wrist to pull her against him. Julie looked down at where he held her, before staring up at him through her blurred vision. Their faces were inches apart, both of them breathing in shared air.

With him so close, she could feel the butterflies from all those years ago returning tenfold, joining forces with the nerves she had felt all week around him. The events of last night flew through her mind like a fast-forwarded movie, occasionally interrupted by memories of their childhood: movie nights, study sessions, jam nights, the wedding. It was like years and years of souvenirs waiting for this exact moment to seize her attention.

She inhaled softly as his eyes searched hers, and before she knew it, she leaned forward and closed the gap between them completely, seizing his lips in a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> we love an intense fight that leads to a kiss


End file.
